thoughts

the birthday post

2011-06-03T22:48:00.002+07:00

as the title says it's the birthday post! my birthday was actually last week, but I havent get the mood to make a post about it. i turned 22 this year, and i just felt, older. thanks to everyone who sent their birthday wishes, spent time to take pics above, and for those celebrated my birthday on the first hour of may 28!

birthday resolution:

tryin to be more open minded, as i will go to new place

less self conscious

more patient

be more open, and not-that-introvert

spend more!

temptation

2011-06-02T23:00:00.001+07:00

see what my homepage suggests me to do. i see it like everytime i open my browser. good job apple, you know that im graduating soon and throwing the promotion at the right time!

happy birthday cok!

2011-05-20T08:57:00.002+07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COK!

may your new age brings you health, wisdom, blessing, and, soulmate :p

my last exam period

2011-05-11T20:33:00.002+07:00

i hope this is my last exam period in NTU. amen. currently I am left with two more exams, both of them are core modules and need memorizing. honestly i was a bit worried about my first exam, fundamentals of management. i thought i studied enough from books and lecture notes, but anyway the exam was more to application. I did all the questions, the time was quite short until my handwriting became very ugly. i didnt really sure with my answer tho, and last time the lecturer said 1 of 3 who took this module fails last sem. and it made me down psychologically. especially since i am the thinking type that can think unpredictable thing. really.

so these few days ive been thinking about it. and im getting anxious though i realized that nothing i could change. what's over is over. anyway ive tried my best and let God do the rest. the situation will be different if I didn't put enough effort, but this time, trust me, I studied for this module since Im going for grade point for my minor, and please dont let it ruin my future. to think about it again, the lecturer never mentioned who failed. was it those ppl SU-ing the course or those going for grade points? ha! since if u SU the course then u wont bother to study that much. anyway it is also my fault that i think too far. i will graduate. amen.

*SU means that u dont really take the grade, it is whether u pass the course or not.

and here is my plan for after exam and after fyp presentation

-back to lab and finish my experiment. yes i'm still doing experiment and i still have one URECA paper to submit. and my sup also aims for publishing paper this time. okay we'll see

-i donno when but i definitely will go back home for few weeks and spend my holiday

-applying visa. finally my I-20 has been processed!

-applying for housing and stuff

-convocation!!!!!!!!!

i will still stay in singapore until around end of june. and i have planned some singapore trip. by myself. haha i'm ashamed that ive been living here for four years and yet i havent really explored singapore. and i must do it before leaving.

finally decided

2011-04-30T14:29:00.002+07:00

i am going to university of michigan this fall. it's finally decided after a month of thinking. I slept late researching of which uni should i go, comparing the pros and cons. Deciding between three unis is not easy. So, im quite excited to go oversea(again!).

i couldn't be more thankful

2011-04-02T08:07:00.003+07:00

for the last few days i have been amazed by how great the blessings I received.

i was the first among my indonesian friends in BIE to be called for interview, though i got rejected on the spot since it is a shipyard company and it is male dominated (the interviewers even tell me not to waste my time there because first job is very important). at least i had the experience of interview, talking with strangers that could be your potential employer, and the nervous feeling. to be honest i was the one among my friends that was not enthusiastic to find a job since i'm waiting for grad school. even i didn't drop resume for this company, wonder how they could call me, huh?

i got a very good news from the schools i've applied. two schools. i can't tell the details yet since i'm in dilemma on which one should i choose. it is important decision, and it involves lots of money (okay money shouldn't be the most important concern). anyway both of them are in US. but my prof said that i better wait for imperial college before making decision. it's like gambling :(

:) :)

sanity

2011-03-22T22:38:00.002+07:00

i was in the middle of writing my final report when melancholy strikes me and i decided to post something

it's just one week away from the first draft submission and i'm still struggling with my experiment. and my prof is currently in korea. but anyway i just write what i can, and give my best.

okay so this is the point. as deadline drawing near, i feel pressure all over me. i realized i became more reserved nowadays. i kept things for my self, and i preferred not to talk rather than saying something unpleasant cos ive been saying sharp words and i didn't think the person i talked to was an open to criticism. and i was kinda avoiding conversation about fyp and report stuff, basically i just dont like being asked 'hows the progress etc'

but thankfully, on the other side, the conditions make me realize that i have ppl around me that i can go to to keep me sane. hail bbm :p .

Japan's tsunami

2011-03-14T20:57:00.003+07:00

Japan was hit by a 8.9SR earthquake on Friday, followed by 10 m tsunami that devastated their cities. I don't think I need to give further explanation as the news were widely spread and it was the headlines for these few days.

I saw some videos that depicted the movement of water. It was scary. The water moved very fast at around 800km/h, and it brought along every object on its way, houses, cars, ships, and even planes. And following the tsunami, nuclear plants in Fukushima exploded, causing the fear of radiation that would affect people's health.

Even though they are prepared for earthquake, many of their citizens said that this time was different. I just opened some pictures in the net, and saw how sad the condition is. It is worsen by the nuclear.

I believed Japanese can survive through the earthquake with the aids from many nations. But nuclear radiation can be passed down to the offspring and cause deformities. I remembered my topic for my highschool thesis was nuclear waste. Nuclear is actually a powerful electricity generator, with only little fusion or fision reaction, it can create energy. But the side effect from nuclear is too scary. even the waste from nuclear reactor can cause some diseases, with the exposure of U235 or their families. *Okay honestly I forgot what I wrote in my thesis*

What we can do is praying for them. And donating money to credible organization such as American Red Cross and Salvation Army. Donating money online is more effective than food or clothes. And bear in mine that human can only plan, we don't know what lies in the future.

wishlist

2011-03-06T15:14:00.003+07:00

wish list for my next birthday (or even as graduation gift :PPPP)

SONY NEX-3

(source: http://www.sony.com.sg)

Actually my old camera is working well up to now, despite the battery that must be replaced with a new one. It's just that i love taking photos and somehow i fall in love with this cam (the red one pls). It has interchangeable lens with 14 MP somemore. But of course it comes with the price (6 million rupiah ++).

THE NEW MACBOOK PRO

(source: http://apple.com)

This one is really really needed. My MBP has been almost 5 years old now and it is quite slow with the 512 RAM. Actually I dont feel like changing my laptop since I love my current one, and it's not so commonly used, unlike the new MBP. I like my MBP design better with the sharp edges, and we have been through good times and hard times together. But function wise, I need something faster. Why MBP? im used to apple.

final year

2011-02-24T22:24:00.002+07:00

i'm not ready for working life. yet. i still want to have fun.

being final year university students is apparently more difficult than in high school (of course, duh). it involves more responsible choice. oh actually not every final year student is in this dilemma.

i'm in between two choices : work, or graduate school.

've been applying to graduate school since early this year, but i haven't got any news, as expected since i applied for master, not phd. but anyway, since ntu is holding a career fair in two days, everyone was like urged to go and get a job. printed resumes etc. honestly, i feel like putting job searching as my plan B. i initially felt lazy to go to the career fair dressing up, but peer pressure won over me. and i was also thinking that i must work if i didn't get accepted by the universities. there's nothing to lose if i looked around and secure some jobs?

but was a little bit disappointed frm the response i get when i said my major is bioengineering (tried looking for other engineering job, nt only biomedical, but yeah, so hard for a bioengineer was it?)

anyway, tomorrow will be the second day of career fair. i plan to go again, because they have different companies from tuesday. was planning to dress down, as in only wearing casual shirt + jeans + shoes, but being different is difficult (again : peer pressure!) some of them said tht you will be less respected when u re not dressing up.

currently i just want to think that if the job were meant for me, and i put enough effort, i would get it at the right time. period.

2011-02-24T22:04:00.000+07:00

oh how i miss high school + sanurians :(

2011

2011-01-27T21:58:00.002+07:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

and now i'm more afraid of how time flies.

so-called-fangirling

2010-12-18T23:00:00.003+07:00

hi! i realized that i havent been updating my blog for so long. blame fyp and my laziness. oh plus exams! i'm currently on exam period, 2 more exams then off for holiday.

one thing that i want to share is, lately i was back to my 'fangirling state'. but my definition of fangirling is : oh i like this actor cos he's so charming that i watch his videos on youtube and i try to know the updates about him'. that's all, no collecting stuffs, no forum post or anything. the last time i was in this state is on junior high school to high school when i was crazy about wilber pan. so who's the guy this time?

*drumroll*

lee seung gi!

no, i'm not affected by kpop madness, i only like him anyway. and it's not because he can sing and dance like those kpop group.

he is actor cum MC cum singer. he was debuted as a singer, and as what other artists usually do, he acted in several dramas like shining inheritance and the last one is my girlfriend is gumiho. but i think he became very popular because of the MC thing. he participate in 2days1 night, a very popular variety show in korea, where they travel to countryside or islands to introduce korea's nature to the world. i watched it like every sunday from KBS tv, dang i think it was my fault subscribing to starhub and KBS came for free. i could see the sincerity in him, and he was that humble. another tv show is strongheart. but i didnt really watch this one since it is aired on SBS.

i forgot exactly when i started admiring him. i thought after watching gumiho or 2d1n. or after i listened to his song. but anyway he has mesmerized me with his smile. i know mostly people will say that he's not handsome, but that's not what made me attracted to him *proof that ive grown up*. and he's just 23!

enough for the fangirling -i really restrain myself from opening youtube thesedays, till exams over-

pray for indonesia

2010-10-29T21:11:00.002+07:00

two disasters happened in indonesia this week.

tsunami in mentawai with over 300 death tolls

and merapi eruption.

they need help

and every contribution, even the least, counts :)

what i do these days

2010-10-27T11:34:00.004+07:00

2010-10-18T21:46:00.002+07:00

such a random thought in random night.

i like fashion like i like math. i love to see those clothes, shoes, even accessories. i like to draw clothes. i like to do window shopping. i like to read fashion blog. i just cant take my eyes from those online shops (with quality of course).

source: http://www.betweendreamsmag.com

source: www.shoewawa.com

it was in profcomm tutorial class where my interest in fashion was questioned. 'if you have great interest in fashion, why you work as bioengineer?'
i was stuck at that moment, what i remembered tht i dont go into fashion design because i dont think i have that much talent. i dont think im that fashionable.

well maybe i can be a fashion observer

though im still dreaming that i can open up my own clothing line.

dream

2010-10-18T21:25:00.002+07:00

I can say that i'm a dreamer.

and i want to keep on dreaming

IA is over

2010-06-21T11:56:00.003+07:00

My industrial attachment was over two weeks ago. i had fun there tho. I met many new ppl, I know how to really do research in an research institute. It's gonna be memorable.

So after IA, I and my coursemate went to Johor Baru. it's a city in malaysia that extremely near to singapore. but still, i got extra chops in my passport. Two things that i learnt on that day :
1. Dont ever take automated clearance in Singapore checkpoint or immigration if your companion(s) are not Singaporean/pr. this case is important when the immigration is crowded. I did use the automated clearance, and I ended up waiting alone outside, it was hot.
2. Dont go to JB on weekends, or if you wanna go, go in the morning/earlier. It was very crowded, started from Kranji Bus stop, Woodland checkpoint, and the bus. And there were no clear queu on Woodlands checkpoint when you want to depart to bus that will take you to JB.

Here are some pics

we had seafood in danga bay at night. after that we decided to go back, where we needed to cross the highway to get to the bus-way (ok, here we can stop the bus anywhere, sounds the same like jakarta?) and it was freakin scary since the cars were at highspeed (it's highway anyway). we did go back to the place we start crossing cos we couldn't find a way how to cross (we were in the middle of the road!!!) . haha finally we managed to cross the highway, and we waited for the bus for lik 30 minutes-ish.

honestly, i don't think i will go to JB soon. LOL

21st birthday

2010-06-12T06:32:00.003+07:00

I havent posted anything for so long. Forgive me, my bad. IA makes me lazy to post.

so, i'm officialy 21! many country pt 21 as legal age, where you can watch R21, go casino, have your own tax payer number, etc etc. i guess im feeling nothing special turning 21, except becoming older and more responsibility, and getting closer to the age when everyone around you will ask about *ehem* boyfriend? *even some of my friends are married already, sigh*

what i got for my birthday?
well i can celebrate my birthday at home. it's been two years since i celebrate in singapore. now my birthday fell on long weekend, and i used my remaining leaves, so that's it, I went home for 5 days. on that day i just planned to go out eating with my fam. but turned out that my friends came to my house for giving me surprise. and i haven't bathed, sorry peeps.

well i was surprised. first thing, i was on the phone with nadya that morning, and she said she was going back to sleep. later we;re still chatting on bbm. and when i asked her when she was available, she said tht day she didnt have anyone to drive her. so i was just lazying around the house, playing with my dog. until suddenly i went out frm my room, and saw a glimpse of ppl, *sorry, but i thought i saw a group of aunties* so i didnt care and went inside my sister room until someone knocked the door. and that's it.

thanks everyone for the surprise. and thanks nad <3

future plan

2010-03-30T15:25:00.002+07:00

either this
John Hopkins Whiting School of Engineering; Master in Biomedical Engineering

or this
University of Pennsylvania Wharton School of Business; Master in Business Administration

sigh sedang di persimpangan. dan kayak bisa aja ke us, ngeliat requirementnya aja udah begitu. tapi there's nothing impossible xD hahaha.

2010-03-24T20:08:00.001+07:00

i need a break
work is very tiring. and boring. and making my social life worse.
thats why

IM GOING HOME NEXT WEEKEND! YEAY.

tired

2010-03-15T21:51:00.002+07:00

so this is how it feels...

2010-03-04T21:39:00.001+07:00

i read my old blog yesterday
and i realized how ungrateful i was...
hahaha thank God i became a better person
maybe living in singapore changed me? could be. hehehe

csa musical

2010-02-24T20:14:00.003+07:00

pictures from csa musical (it's only the before and the after)

look at my makeup :(

2010

2010-02-10T21:52:00.002+07:00

it was a long time since my last post, and it's a new year already! im currently having my internship in a government's research company i science park 2, doing some research. im occupied for the whole day :) but it's good since i wont wondering around, open social networking sites and do nothing.

i went back to jakarta last december. having almost one month holiday. it's the usual holiday anw, meeting up with some friends, watching movies. and i went to bali with my family as well. bali was okay, but it's too crowded since it was a holiday season. it seemed that i went there for culinary trip rather than for its scenery. and finally i went to waterbom :) hahaha. though it was a lil bit expensive but i was having fun. I got after effect frm waterbom : sunburn. yes i got sunburned. my body was all red and sick. hahaha. i didnt have any intention to be tan tho.

i missed my elementary school reunion. too bad i couldnt come cause the date coincident with my bali trip. but i met some of thm alr.

i went back to sg just one day before IA start. last month was a busy month for me. IA started. I woke up at 6 am everyday, catch the bus, take mrt, then take bus again. it takes me 1 hour to go to my office. and it is always packed. i mean the public transport. huhuhu. my IA place is okay. i mean, i like working there. we got this computer room, but no personal cubicle. I work in bioelectronics lab, but mostly until now my job is to prepare the sample for next step. i was taught by a research officer, but then she is moved to another project alr. so i do all those things by myself. im kinda missing her. cos when you work alone you cannot chat with anyone. im playing sudoku instead. hahah today she saw me doing my sudoku puzzle and she said 'you must be very bored, next time you just take newspaper in my desk, and cut the sudoku' hahahaha. initially she was the one who bring the sudoku to the lab.

and finally csa musical is done. it was great. though we were very unprepared. it turned out to be good, thx guys!

haven't met you yet

2009-11-14T20:11:00.001+07:00

im in love with this song.

living in hall....

2009-11-04T12:30:00.002+07:00

for those of you who dont know it yet, I am currently living in hostel, it's not exactly a dorm i think. the hostel itself is located in campus area, my current room is like 10 minutes away walking time to campus. so you can imagine how big ntu is. school complex + 16 hall of residence + staff lodging. it's huge.

as an international student here, i choose to stay in hall for some reasons:
1. i dont have a home here, and bought a home is very expensive, you must be PR or singaporean to buy those government apartment or you must buy a condo which can be up to more than 1million singapore dollar.
2. two years ago, it was the first time i stayed away from my family, living by myself. so stay in hall is a better option since it is near your friends' place, and all things are provided
3. convenient, you can go to school on foot, in less than 15 minutes. you can even go to school on holiday. and of course, no expense on transport
4. it's damn cheap. you can get a double room for 160 per month to 200/ month. when outside's rent fee is about 500.

despite all the good things there, you need points to stay in hall. how to get point? of course by joining those CCAs, and as a foreigner by default you get 9 distance points. but still, up to this 3rd year of school, i must wait for 5 or 6th round of room placement to get a room. why? because my point is not enough, need 1 more point for the first round.

at first i always thought that i MUST stay in hall until i finish my study here. If i stayed outside, it would be tiring, and more expensive. but i changed my mind just recently.

there were rumours that NTU will apply new system for HALL APPLICATION SCHEME. the point for international student won't be 9 anymore. instead it will be reduced by 1 every time you finish your year of study. why? because current hall system is not fair for singaporeans, said some of them. and this year i am a year 3, which will make me get only 7 points, if the system is applied. and though i get 7 points from my CCA, the total would only be 14, which is my point last year. and i didnt get the first round with THAT point.

beside, NTU will host the YOG, as the place for athletes to stay. so we must get out of hall after exam finish. and it does mean MOVING again. i hate moving. you must pack and unpack your stuffs. and you will bother your friends when they help you moving. and after YOG finish, and the new acad year starts? i must MOVE again. see how tiring it is?

and yah, we, international students, are too spoiled :( . in other countries, you must find accomodation by yourself, mostly.

so i plan to move out next year. not too far from ntu. though maybe i will be alittle bit antisocial, but is it worth more?

life is tough, really.

blame the technology?

2009-11-02T23:54:00.002+07:00

sekarang itu jamannya teknologi. semua orang udah tau sih. jaman dimana ngirim message ke orang di seberang dunia cuma dalam hitungan detik. jaman semua berubah dengan cepat. jaman dimana komunikasi tidak menemui halangan berarti. broadband, wireless internet, 3g, u can name more.

semua hal di dunia ini pasti ada buruk dan baiknya. begitu juga dengan segala teknologi komunikasi itu. mendekatkan yang jauh. tapi apakah mendekatkan yang dekat juga?

sekarang, dari handphone pun nggak susah lagi buat internetan, buat ngirim pesan instan secara luar biasa cepatnya, apalagi dengan teknologi handphone yang luar biasa canggih sekarang. handphone bisa wireless internet dan gprs. bagus sih, kalo dipakai buat tujuan yang bagus. bagus kalo dengan fasilitas yang tersedia kita bisa tau berita-berita terbaru, bisa tau kabar orang nun jauh disana, bisa berkomunikasi dengan teman lama.

tapi apa jadinya kalau terlalu tersedot ke dalam dunia maya melalui hp? liat aja sekarang dimana mana orang bawa hp canggih. bb dan iphone bukan barang mewah lagi. sedikit-sedikit ngeliat hp buat ngecek apa ada email, chattingan, ato ada notification baru di facebook. is it weird? NOT ANYMORE. sambil jalan jalan sama ortu pun mungkin bisa chatting sama temen yang disana. perhatian jadi terus tertuju ke yang namanya handphone. lalu orang sekitar? biarin aja :(

itu salah satu yang nggak saya suka. kalau lagi ngobrol tiba-tiba dicuekin gara-gra seru sendiri.

teknologi bukanlah suatu masalah, asal kita tau how to use it.

be strong

2009-10-31T23:05:00.002+07:00

life doesn't always go like you want, it can be great, and it can be bad. it depends on how you see it.

when i reflected back to high school times, i was so amazed on how i never felt the thing called stress. it seemed that my life was so smooth. ok, there were time when i felt tired, and things didn't go right, but it was manageable. my assignments were done without too many difficulties, i got good score for almost every subject (not physical education, im the worst T.T). i had good friends all around me, and i knew the friendship was sincere (ok, only frm my point of view). i was always in the top three of the class. and i did everything without pressure. i enjoyed it. i never cared whether my friend had started studying for the test or not. i studied on the day before the exams. even i have this studygroup session after school to prepare for final exam. mathematics esp. now i know i should cherish the moments more.

but still, life wont be always that easy. life became real when you had feel the pain. must stay in computer lab till 1 am, and even on saturday to do assignments. i must study days before the test. i felt the pressure. yes, peer pressure. i think singapore culture has affected me alot. fiuh. and here, everyone seems so individualistic. sometimes i got pissed off because of others. really. yeah. things wont always be easy for me. there are so many hurdles that i must overcome.

but i believe that i can overcome it. with HIM.

ps: i dont want my child to study here. at least not before uni.

mellow mood

2009-10-30T10:54:00.002+07:00

ada beberapa orang yang mengira mereka udah tau lo luar dalem.
ada orang-orang lain yang merasa mereka dekat
ada orang yang hanya melihat dari luar tanpa tahu dalamnya
dan langsung merasa kenal
ada lagi yang menjudge, tanpa mengubah pikiran mereka kemudian
padahal semua bisa berubah
padahal semua bisa berbeda

saya nggak benci mereka, gak.
saya berterimakasih mereka ada

namun sabar saya juga di luar batasnya kok

saya phlegmatis? oh pls. saya org koleris. gak ada plegmatisnya
ada lagi yang blg saya sanguin? hahaha. read my blog and you will directly know tht im a total melancholic person.

yah they just know what's on the outside. or am i too great as an artist?
oke saya introvert.

pardon me for being almost sarcastic

fb quiz

2009-10-23T22:20:00.000+07:00

Orang dengan golongan darah B merupakan orang yang paling praktis di antara semua golongan darah yang ada. Mereka adalah spesialis di bidang yang digelutinya. Ketika mereka memulai sebuah proyek, mereka akan menghabiskan waktu lebih banyak untuk memahami dan mencoba mengikuti semua petunjuk/arahan yang diperlukan untuk itu. Jika mengerjakan sesuatu, mereka selalu fokus kepada apa yang tengah dikerjakan. Mereka cenderung berpedoman pada tujuan dan mengejarnya sampai tuntas walau pun kelihatannya pekerjaan itu tidak mungkin dilakukan. Mereka cenderung kurang kooperatif. Mereka lebih suka mengikuti peraturan dan gagasan mereka sendiri. Orang dengan golongan darah B memberikan perhatian lebih kepada pikiran daripada perasaan mereka, dan karenanya, terkadang kelihatannya dingin dan serius.

hmmm. cukup akurat sih. hehehe. terutama soal pikiran daripada perasaan. terlihat dingin dan serius? kalo kata orang sih iyah. xD

i dont want to become older

2009-10-20T22:18:00.002+07:00

sighhh today my coursemate asked me, 'how old are you? nineteen eh?'

but i must be honest and answered that i'm 20 already.

and today i got this thought, that when you become older, you cannot admire those young korean or japanese or even taiwanese boys in the youtube anymore, like i do nowadays. there are many new boybands, and most of them are in their 19 or 20. or even younger. and later when i grew up, let's say 25, it's just weird to adore those 19 years old newcomers.

for me, it is better to watch boys' performance rather than girl. esp the fresh boys. okay jay chou and wilber is exception. but lately i watched these boys more often. though sometimes they have strange looks.

so, can i be forever 20? haha

2009-10-19T22:31:00.002+07:00

sometimes it is stressing to keep all those things inside. the hatred, pressure, stress, or whatever. but it is my own fault for being such an introvert. i do not tell secret. i do not tell about my self, my feelings.

i do tell about certain things. like my problem with my 'bff'. this one is just a nickname for certain person. haha. but i still keep a lot of things inside. and , yah, i hate it for not being able to speak it up. it sucks.

sorry for being mellow. it's pms time i guess

ina's visit

2009-10-18T21:25:00.004+07:00

i am always happy whenever a friend visits me in singapore. not exactly visiting me, but they somehow go to singapore for holiday. it's just another reason to take a break frm my study, and of course to get out of NTU to see the real city since i felt like living in the forest.

so yesterday me and my bffs went to orchard to meet ina. she came to singapore for a wedding.

it was a great day though tiring.

quantum mechanics

2009-10-13T08:04:00.003+07:00

surprisingly i got quantum mechanics lesson yesterday. it should be advanced biocomputational methods class, but then he taught quantum mechanics. it is interesting indeed.

what was more interesting is the quote i invented. oh ok, it was not exactly an invention, but i found it during the last segment of the lecture, and was inspired by the lecture itself

love is not a discrete function, hence it should be continuous but need not be periodic.

and no human's love reaches infinity.....

so, love each other continuously. if u want to stop, pls stop completely. dont make it discrete. xD

saturday noon with integral

2009-10-10T16:01:00.005+07:00

i woke up at 10 today, that's a record for me since i always wake up before nine. i didn't set my alarm last night cos i think i need more sleep to get better sooner.

honestly i didn't know what i should do this saturday. i tried looking for tutorials, but there was no new uploaded tutorial, so i watched korean movie. after that i went to clementi, met my sister, had lunch, went back, and on the way back i realized i got my ureca! finally something to do.

i need to solve an integral. it took me 2 weeks. even my supervisor became confused when he tried to do that. well, i promised him tht i will try to solve it, so here i am. dealing with this integral.

this is what i showed to my supervisor. haha i think he waas kinda surprised seeing my notes, it looked like i was depressed doing the integral. but after meeting him, i was enlighten on how to solve it. so i tried again, though it is still unsolved

it is what i did today. 2 pages full, and havent finished. the integral is quite short, but to solve it, i need more than 2 pages! click the picture for larger view!

while doing this integral thing, i chatted with one of my friend, he is in final year math science. i told him tht i was kinda stuck with this integral. and he said 'not all of the integral can be solved with anti-derivative', and 'this one is difficult'. so it was not because i am stupid so i couldnt solve this. but it is because of the integral.

okay, now here i am, facing this hard life, with integral accompany me. in beautiful saturday afternoon. maybe this is also because i dont have a bf, so no one ask me to go out on weekends. i think i must be friend with integral till i found one. *disclaimer: this statement is made for fun, no intention to find one soon. haha

back to school

2009-10-03T22:47:00.002+07:00

i arrived in singapore since thursday afternoon, with flu. i caught a flu on tuesday, got headache and body ache. my nose was blocked, and my throat was sore. it was very uncool to get sick when you were on holiday. i thought it was common flu, i still went out with my friend to central park, drove the car by myself, but after reached home i couldn't do anything but sleeping. finally i went to neighborhood doctor, and got INJECTED! since i want the flu to be over real soon (i was afraid tht i wouldnt be allowed to enter singapore, since i also had fever). that was painful.

i am still sick right now though i am still taking my medicine regularly. i slept earlier though in the end i couldnt sleep T.T . this flu is killing me. hahaha. and now i get cough also, what a holiday!

and school starts this monday, with 1 midterm waits. and i will have my IA interview this coming tuesday, pray for me pls. i applied for IA at institute of microelectronics. ya i know, it is sooo not bio, but the project they offered was very interesting for me.

oke ciao. i need to get sleep. and more sleep.

bandung

2009-09-27T20:17:00.004+07:00

indo! yap i'm in indo since thursday night.

i went to bandung on friday morning, driving all the way frm jakarta to bandung. i went there with my mother, sister, and of course my driver, cos i wouldn't be allowed to drive by myself that far. oh i reached more than 120km/hour! hahaha. luckily there was no traffic jam in the highway, but not in bandung of course. it was like part of jakartans moved to bandung for hari raya holiday.

as most ppl would do in bandung, i went to fo, bought clothes. and also EAT EAT EAT. ok they have good food there.

thursday

2009-09-20T22:39:00.000+07:00

why thursday?

cause i will go back home this thursday for a week. cannot wait for it!

my wishlist

2009-09-13T17:12:00.003+07:00

i really want a lot of things. not greedy, but i just want it without intention to really buy it. i just love them.

1. Apple iPhone 3Gs
if u know me quite well then u must know that I am a big fan of iPhone. my father have even asked his friend to look for iPhone price in US, but apparently it is still expensive, for the 3gs, without any bundle.

see how cool it is. iPhone also has many applications, and many games. got iPod feature inside! i really wanted this phone, until i became so desperate and bought a new nokia phone. now i think i will start keeping some money to buy this. from my IA & Ureca. hopefully.

2. Macbook Pro 15"
actually my current laptop is the older model of macbook pro 15". the new one was out in market last year. i thought of changing my laptop since saw it in class.

see see? but the price is 2800 sgd oh my, who wants to buy me one? my current laptop is still ok, beside the ram which is very small, less than 1gb. and is kinda slow when i use it for many applications at once.

3. blazer. for casual purpose.

im in love with blazer. sorry for the image, i just picked it up randomly.

i trained my right brain too

2009-09-12T22:41:00.005+07:00

ok this is the result of my 2-hours-drawing session.

any comment?

10 promises to my dog

2009-09-12T19:19:00.003+07:00

yesterday one of my friend messaged me on msn. he recommended a movie.

the title is 10 promises to my dog. it is a japanese movie. no it is not that kind of japanese drama, though what i said can be very subjective since i like to watch japanese dorama and movie. i watched this last night, ended up sleeping at 2 am. it was very touching. especially if u had a dog. yes the story line was very predictable, but it is worth watching.

i was kinda miss my dog back at home after watching this movie.

my super cute dog is on the left, not the right one hahahahaha. look how cute she is <3. i think we spoiled her too much.

baru disadari

2009-09-11T22:00:00.004+07:00

kemaren ini saya sempet browsing toko online. toko sepatu online gitu, pernah beli satu disana, tapi waktu itu sih dateng ke toko resellernya. terus baru inget ada sepatu yang kayak gini

terus kalo diliat-liat, kok mirip sama sepatu sanur yah. bukan mirip, modelnya sejenis gitu.

liat sepatunya. hahaha coba kalo sepatu sanur dimodif dikit bisa jadi kayak gambar sepatu diatas.
apalagi sepatu di atas kayaknya lagi model gitu sekarang, walo banyak variasi, ada yang pake heels dan jadi ankle boots. tapi seriously, mungkin yang bikin sepatu sanur ato milih modelnya merhatiin fashion juga kali yah. walo ujung-ujungnya semua anak sanur merasa kok sepatunya seperti ini.

hahaha

good old days

2009-09-08T23:12:00.002+07:00

these weeks have been very hectic for me. tutorial, catch up sama pelajaran yang semakin sulit dimengerti. meeting ini. dan itu. sementara juga musti pergi keluar. pulang malem udah biasa. apalagi jadwal kelas sem ini nggak enak, semuanya ditumpuk di hari senen selasa kamis, jadi hari itu adalah hari capek.

jadi inget sma. kayaknya sma santai banget. apalagi saya nggak les ini itu, kegiatan yah paling cuma ekskul doang, terus kalo ada acara gede di sekolah baru ikut bantu2. sisanya? tidur nonton jalan jalan, belajar kalo ada ulangan dan membuat peer kalo ada tentunya.

tapi kalo kayak gitu saya juga sadar jadi nggak ada pengalamannya. cuma diem-diem aja. makanya sekarang mau memperbanyak pengalaman. apapun.

tapi tetep kangen sma. pastinya ada yang gak bisa didapetin disini. kedeketan sama temen2 apalagi.

some pictures from high school

thought

2009-09-02T23:36:00.002+07:00

what is a bestfriend? whom can you regard as your best one? and what differentiate them with other friends?

lately ive been thinking, do i have someone i can consider bestfriend here? or maybe i put high standard. i demand too much?

and yes i miss my so-called-bestfriend over there

future

2009-08-29T08:52:00.003+07:00

akhir akhir ini banyak yang nanya soal karir. masa depan. kenapa bioengine? what i want to do? gak tertarik ambil duke nus (master in medical gt lah)? dan sebagainya.

tapi akhir-akhir ini juga saya ngerasa mantep di bioengineering. kenapa? kayaknya emang udah ini yang pengen saya lakukan. pengen bikin cure ato alat yang bisa diagnose, and do other medical stuff without dealing directly with human life. coward? gak pa pa. saya juga gak mau sekola kedokteran, kelamaan dan mahal dan kesannya kalo lulus gak jadi dokter, kok sayag banget. kalo sekarang saya lulus dan gak jadi engineer? oh ya udah.

jadi doakan saya selama 2 taon kedepan. kemaren-kemaren ini rada terguncang sama duke-nus sih. apakah mau ngambil ato gak. tapi ada contract 5 taon ternyata. oh no!

satu taon kedepan saya juga masih ngerjain URECA, semoga membuka jalan untuk fyp... kadang-kadang saya mikir rada kepanjangan sihm heheh

halo!

2009-08-27T22:15:00.000+07:00

hahaha kayaknya udah lama nggak ngepost! well yeah since i cannot go online, dont have the internet access and didnt have a room. but now the waiting period is so over. artinya? SAYA UDAH DAPET KAMAR! finally.

blazer blazer blazer

2009-08-16T21:22:00.002+07:00

oh my im so in love with blazer. but i dont have one since i donno where to buy blazer with my size. and it must be expensive. and i want to wear blazer with casual attire. hahas. ok, fyi, im very into fashion, not in the context of wearing it, but i love designing clothes and seeing various kind of clothes. oh and shoes.

i love to see how blazer can also fit in casual clothes. it can be mixed with shorts also! and i've been making some looks with blazer in LOOKLET. can check out my page. username: panpan.

hahah sorry for very random post today. it's just that my fashion sense is on.

holiholiday

2009-08-08T17:54:00.004+07:00

holiday is over babes. sekarang saya udah di singapore lagi. bertemu dengan matahari yang panas menyengat, tangga-tangga yang tinggi, kipas angin di kamar, public bathrooms, and of course belajar lagi.

liburan kemaren cukup mengesankan, walo saya masih ingin liburan yang lebih panjang. pengen mencoba hal-hal baru, mengalami kejadian-kejadian baru, sembari belajar juga. saya mencoba senang-senang, walo 2 kali jatuh sakit, ini sih sakit yang parah. masuk angin sampe muntah muntah dan flu! demam sampe 38 derajat. the rest? as usual saya punya masalah dengan perut. salah makan sedikit aja pasti langsung mencimenci alias mencret.

i post up some pics of my holiday with my friends

dan sekarang saya lagi numpang di kamar orang, yang luckily belom ada rumet, biasa kayak tradisi setiap taon harus pindah-pindahan. dan pindahan itu bener-bener capek. doakan saya supaya cepet dapet kamar. and can do better this acad year!

counting down

2009-07-31T01:30:00.002+07:00

7 hari menuju singapore. perasaan? SEDIH dong. nggak kerasa liburan udah mau kelar, dan saya baru banyak keluar pas mo akhir-akhr liburan!

oh iyah. apa kabar spion saya? kabarnya BAIK! pagi-paginya langsung diganti, jujur saya tinggal tau beres sih, yang ngurusin semua sopir saya, tiba-tiba kacanya udah baru waw waw. hahaha dan untungnya biaya penggantian spion gak semahal yang saya pikirkan, jadi masih bisa mengajukan proposal penggantian telepon genggam.

dan sepertinya saya cukup nekat, abis pecah spion, besokannya itu saya langsung jalan-jalan lagi. dan kali ini juga jauh tempatnya: kelapa gading. fyi, saya udah gak ke mall kelapa gading sejak smp, pas jaman-jaman breadtalk baru muncul itu terakhir kali saya ke mall kelapa gading. luar biasa. hahaha. walo saya jadi nyamuk lagi... yah tapi ada untungnya juga lah, kemaren ini saya ke gading gak nyetir, tapi dapet sopir gratis. anggep aja jalan-jalan bertiga itu usaha temen saya buat membangun hubungan baik antara pacarnya dan sahabatnya (emang sebenernya hubungannya sudah baik kok). dan saya menonton UP! tadinya sih mo nonton public enemies, tapi liat jadwal bioskop dan ada UP! saya lebih milih itu. dan tidak mengecewakan, sangat direkomendasikan kok saudara-saudara!!!! sayang saya jadi nyamuk jadi nontonnya kurang nikmat.

dan hari ini ada semacem reuni sanur. yang ngadain sih anak-anak sanur juga. tadi sih cukup rame, tempatnya di senci, dan jujur kita membuat kebisingan, cewe-cewe heboh ketemu temen-temennya, ribut foto sana sini. soal makanan sih standard bgt, ya udahlah rasa makanan jadi nomer 2. hahahah. seneng jg bs ngeliat temen sma and how they change. udah 2 taon loh ngomong ngomong. though saya jg yah dateng gitu-gitu aja, gak heboh2. hahaha and i got a bday present frm my bestfriend. hahaha. thx say

spion

2009-07-28T20:28:00.002+07:00

hari ini spion saya meninggal. alias hancur. jadi ceritanya saya hari ini pergi ke karawaci. dr rmh saya mampir dl ke rumah nadya, baru ke karawaci. di krwaci ketemu si yuli. intinya maen2 senang2. nah kejadiannya itu ps pulangnya. ssaya mo keluar tol. di kembangan, emang sih keluar tol itu macet. entah kenapa, kayaknya sih ada lampu stop. dan macetnya emang cuma merayap. nah pas udah bisa jalan, sebelah saya tuh tiba2 truk. saya pertamanya emang tau kalo saya maju gak mungkin bisa jalan, gak muat gitu dan ya udahlah kasih orang jalan dulu. eh tiba2 itu truk warna ijo sialan itu lewat. dia rada maksa tanpa liat2. wtf. dia ada kaca spion kannn? bisa keliatann kannn???? saya udah deg2an gitu, pertamanya gak kena, eh tiba2 pas udah setengah badan truk lewat, KACA SPION KANAN TERHANTAM. jadi berputar 90 derajat ke depan dan hancur kacanya -__-" miris banget ngeliat kacanya runtuh ke lantai. si truknya gak mau ngaku. saya jujur shock. waktu itu lampu depan keserempet truk gapapalah yah. gak sampe ancur. tapi ini. ANCUR. jadi saya emang gak prgi sendiri kan, nah abis kejadian, sempet menepi buat nuntut, tapi yang namanya truk. jadilah karena spertinya saya masi shock, digantiin nyetir lah sama si meno. sampe ke puri. mana mo cari kaca spion juga gak tau dimana. bahkan di auto2000, secara mobil saya inova, harus pesen dulu. ampas.

akhirnya saya ke rumah nadya dari puri indah. dan dengan sukses pulang disetirin sama sopirnya nadya. hahahaa. tadinya sih bokap mo suruh sopir kesono, naek ojek, tapi mgkn krn ribet, jadi gak jadi deh

tapi saya pengen liat dari sisi baiknya aja.
untung saya masih baik-baik aja
untung saya gak sendirian di mobil
untung cuma spion, bukan bodinya
untung mobil saya inova, coba kalo mobil saya bmw gt, kan lebih mahal lagi
untung saya gak diomelin
untung itu udah bukan di jalan tol, kalo di jalan tol lbih berabe

intinya masih beruntunglah. bersyukur banget udah bisa selamet. many thanks buat nadya, meno, sama sopirnya nadya. hahaha

masak

2009-07-15T08:50:00.002+07:00

katanya setiap cewek biar bisa jadi istri yang baik harus bisa masak? tapi yang namanya jaman sekarang dimana cewek udah kerja dan banyak yang instan instan dan terjadi kesetaraan gender, kayaknya hal itu udah gak berlaku lagi. tapi masak emang skill essential dalam hidup. namanya hidup yah perlu makan.

oleh karena itu saya memanfaatkan liburan ini buat masak! gak setiap hari sih, tapi emang kalo iseng-iseng pengen masak. nyoba-nyoba doang. waktu itu udah bikin macaroni scotel tapi masaknya di microwave. jadinya yah lumayan lah walo lebih mantep pake oven. kalo masak nasi goreng sama mi sama telor sih udah biasa banget. terus waktu itu jg bikin kue! stelah sekian lama si oven didiamkan. terus sebenernya pengen coba bikin macem-macem. tapi masalah bahannya kalo recot dan macemmacem itu jadi males.

sayang saya gak bisa foto itu makanan2 semua....

reflection

2009-07-06T17:44:00.002+07:00

gampang bagi kita buat nyalahin orang lain. buat cari-cari kesalahan orang lain. emang udah tendency manusia buat menyalahkan orang lain lebih dulu kali yah? kalo ada masalah, semua kesalahan orang lain dicari-cari, disebut-sebut. ato gak, yah ituh, ngerasa orang lain yang salah. *bingung, saya juga.*

intinya sih kita harus bisa ngeliat masalah dari sudut pandang yang lain. jangan cuma orang lain dan orang lain. kalo itu masalah kita, yah coba mulai dengan berpikir adakah yang salah dari diri kita? jangan semena-mena menyalahkan dan melimpahkan tanggung jawab ke orang lain. walopun semua mereka yang mulai, yakin deh kita gak cuma jadi korban, pasti sedikit apapun ada andilnya. biar gak cuma bisa nyalahin, karena dengan begitu keadaan malah makin buruk.

ini juga kayaknya yang bikin indo tuh nggak maju-maju. ada apa2? yah cari orang laen buat jadi kambing hitam, ato yang ada yah langsung aja bawa ke pengadilan, langsung cere, ini itu. semua yang jelek-jelek ke orang lain. contoh: manohara. cih cih cih. padahal pasti ada kenapa-kenapa sampe dia bisa digituin. saya yakin banget itu.

haha jadi saya randomly sampe ke topik ini. entah kenapa. melintas aja.

still holiday

2009-07-04T21:00:00.000+07:00

saya emang menghilang dari dunia peronlinean belakangan ini. diakibatkan liburan yang masih hot-hotnya.
jadi kalo jarang mengepos mohon dimaklumi

what to do in jakarta??

2009-06-21T22:42:00.003+07:00

jadi saya sudah kurang lebih dua minggu ada di jakarta! 2 minggu dan masih ada berminggu-minggu selanjutnya. jadi udah ngapain aja nih?

saya udah makan berbagai macam makanan indo. ato gak makanan yang pengen dimakan deh. tapi masih pengen ketoprak. hahaha. udah jajan-jajan juga. sayangnya gak sempet makan kue cubit, gara-gara saya baru sempet ke sekolah adek saya alias sd smp saya dulu pas anak-anak uda libur, jadi yah udah nggak ada yang jualan lagi deh. terus saya juga pengen bubur tandjung. duh kalo ngomongin soal makanan pasti banyak deh yang dipengenin, nggak abis-abis juga. oh satu yang saya masih bingung, kenapa demam sour sally masih ada sampe sekarang yah? padahal kan gitu-gitu aja, dan saya nggak ngerti kenapa orang pada demen! malah sekarang banyak banget yang kayak gituan....

menjelajah jakarta? saya pengen banget bisa nyetir keliling jakarta, ke tempat yang belom pernah saya pergiin. ato mengexplore jakarta lebih dalem deh. tapi ujung-ujungnya sih kerjaan saya cuma ke mol. abisnya temen-temen juga kalo mo pergi yah pasti pergi ke mol. cuma sekarang saya lebih punya banyak pengalaman dalam setir menyetir! sampe bisa foto narsis di dalem mobil!

hahah maafkan saya soalnya saya males rotate, jadinya miring-miring deh. selama ini juga menambah kerjaan tidak dibayar dengan menjadi sopir cadangan! kalo sopir gak dateng ato lagi kemana tapi butuh pergi? saya yang jadi sopir. lumayan jalan-jalan.

terus, nonton juga udah! akhirnya saya nonton setelah berbulan-bulan puasa nonton.

sebenernya saya pengen usaha. cari duit. tpi bingung mau ngapain hiksu.

i <3 fiction books

2009-06-11T19:51:00.002+07:00

saya besar dan tumbuh sebagai seorang penyuka fiksi. saya bener-bener suka sama buku-buku fiksi, dari kecil emang udah dibiasain baca. dari buku cerita yang ada gambarnya (bukan komik), yang cuma tipis-tipis. terus beralih ke buku yang agak berat dikit. dulu saya ngoleksi tokoh seri dunia, lima sekawan, sama goosebumps. terus lanjut ke fearstreet juga. udah mulai smp bacaan saya berubah, lagi tergila-gilanya sama teenlit, kayaknya koleksi saya banyak banget. oh dan mulai smp juga saya kenal komik, mulai beli komik walo awalnya rada gak dikasih sama orangtua. waktu mulai sma, saya udah rada bosen juga baca teenlit, jadi lebih milih yang rada fantasi, harry potter, eragon, banyak deh. dan semuanya kebanyakan beli. kalo sekarang, saya prefer thriller ato misteri2 gitu sama yang fantasi-fantasi. cerita cinta-cintaan udah lama saya tinggalin, paling sesekali doang baca. saking banyaknya novel saya, saya nggak tau mereka pada dimana. sejak pindah rumah pas 3 smp, kayaknya novel saya sama komik-komik itu udah pada di gudangin, ato dimana juga nggak tau. terus saya juga gak tau masih ada novel yang di temen apa gak (ada sih, yakin, cuma seberapa banyak itu gak tau).

dampaknya buat saya? saya ngerasa gara-gara keseringan baca fiksi, imajinasi saya rada berlebihan. dan jujur saya suka kok berimajinasi. gini-gini saya sempet suka nulis, pas smp. kerjaan saya kalo di kelas yah nulis cerpen, tapi entah cerpen-cerpen itu kemana sekarang. dulu juga saya anak mading. jadi inget pernah ikut lomba bahasa indonesia, tapi lombanya bikin koran dinding, dan udah sampe tingkat dki jakarta walo gak menang. hahaha. sampe sekarang saya masih ada hasrat buat menulis. spesialisasi yah menulis cerpen, cuma kalo sekrang udah terlalu banyak distraction. jadilah gak pernah produktif lagi. dampak jelek si fiksi-fiksi ini? kayaknya gara-gara kebanyakan baca yang serem-serem ato terlalu imajinatif, saya jadi suka takut sendiri.

walopun sekarang kesannya saya uda harus melirik bacaan-bacaan lain, tapi belom ada yang menarik di hati. ujung-ujungnya gak selesai.

ps: saya suka sama film startrek. kemaren baru nonton. kalo mau lebih spesifik, saya demen sama ada orang rusia ceritanya, pinter gitu ngitungnya, soal gravitasi blablablbla. entah kenapa saya selalu amazed sama orang-orang jenius gituuu

hasil memfoto

2009-06-07T22:27:00.005+07:00

inget posting saya soal rumah yang mau disewain itu? hari ini saya kesana, moto2. rencananya mau masukin internet tempat pasang iklan properti gratis gituh.

ini gambar2nya. kalo ada yang tertarik hubungi saya. biaya sewa nanti diomongin langsung
rumahnya di kemang, jalan kemang timur dalam

tampak belakang

tampak depan.
hehehehee

jakarta

2009-06-06T08:43:00.002+07:00

yap saya sudah sampai jakarta sejak jumat kemaren. tapi bru sempet ngeblog hari ini. hehehe jakarta? macet! kluar dari tol bandara aja udah super macet, sampe akhirnya supir saya muter ke tanggerang sampe ke tol puri, dan keluar di kemanggisan! waw. hahaha intinya begitulah kehectican jakarta. panas juga, cuma singapore are way hotter. ato mungkin karena saya di rumah terus? ato cma ke mol? dan di dalem mobil yang berac? entahlah hahaha

jadi saya ingin mengurangi berinternet di rumah. sama aja boong kalo di urmah tapi internetan terus. cuma saya kangen internetnya ntu yang bisa loadin film super cepet. terus pengen berenangg! cuma nggak tau mau berenang dimana -_-" huhuhu. intinya saya ingin mengerjakan hal-hal yang berguna. sampe hari ini belom ketemu temen sih, tapi soon pasti iyah. hehehe

dan pastinya saya mengurangi aktivitas facebookan. dont miss me on facebook! hahahaha

fangirling memories

2009-06-01T20:36:00.003+07:00

mungkin kata itu gak ada di kamus bahasa inggris kali yah. tapi dulu itu saya seorang fan. karena saya cewe, jadi fangirl dong. masa fanboy. anw saya dapet istilah itu juga sebenernya dari temen-temen yang suka artis-artis jepang gitu. hehehe. siapa yang saya fans -in?

hehehehehe. itu, wilber pan. saya ngefans sama dia sejak kelas 2 smp, jaman-jamannya baru pasang tv kabel, dapet mtv chinese. ngeliat pertama langsung wow gitu. dan jadilah saya mulai menjadi seorang fangirl. dulu di laptop saya yang sebelum-sebelumnya, dan tentu saja pc saya, penuh sama gambarnya si wilber. wallpaper desktop pun gambarnya si wilber. saya punya semua albumnya lengkap. dari jaman masih beli kaset sampe beli cd. sampe bela-belain nitip temen adek saya yang ke singapur buat beliin cdnya wilber.

kayaknya hal ini berlanjut sampe saya kelas 2 ato 3 sma gitu. lama-lama saya bosen. dia rada menghilang charmnya. sempet demen juga sama junichi okada. dan saya juga sibuk sekolah, nyiapin uni, dan segala macemnya sampe dia gak kepikiran lagi. pas kuliah pun saya juga cuma tau berita dia klo dia keluarin album, album yang lalu saya masih sempet beli kok. saya jadi inget, kalo orang nanya siapa sih dia, dan saya blg wilber pan, artis taiwan, pasti pada gak tau, kecuali orang-orang medan yang emang dengerin lagu mandarin. temen-temen saya yang laen? no hope.

satu setengah taon yang lalu juga dia konser di ntu. gratis. di lkc. sayangnya, hari itu dia konser, HARI ITU SAYA PULANG JAKARTA. tiket gak bisa direfund atopun diubah tanggalnya karena harga promosi. itu tiket 100 sing dolar. kalo saya ganti tiket sama aja saya bayar 100 sing dolar buat nonton, nontnnya di lkc pula, mending gak deh, bye bye wilber. sampe sebelom saya pulang temen saya nyolongin poster konser dia. hahaha.

terus sekarang kenapa saya ngungkit-ngungkit dia lagi? karena dia baru keluar album! itu photo di atas itu cover album terbaru dia. saya udah download semua lagunya hehehehehe. tadi saya liat cdnya, sempet tergoda untuk beli dengan alasan koleksi, tapi mengingat dunia lagi krisis, jadi saya simpen aja deh uangnya buat yang lebih berguna, tunggu tuh cd didiskon dulu xD. ehehehe. jadi sempet clbk, beberapa hari ini saya browsing youtube buat nyari video dia. walopun gaya rambutnya sekarang rada aneh, cuma gapapa deh.

oh iyah baru baru ini juga dia maen drama yang ratingnya cukup ok, tapi saya nggak nonton karena gak suka drama taiwan. hahahaa
nih posternya

indo oh indo

2009-05-31T22:21:00.002+07:00

hari ini di tengah-tengah nonton dorama, saya break sebentar,bosen, terus jadi browse youtube. yang pertama saya search: kuburan band! jadi pengen tau lagu-lagu band indo yang lagi naek daun itu. dari lupa-lupa inget saya nemu tua-tua kelabing. dan dari kuburan band saya nemu wali band: cari jodoh, lagunya orang despo gak laku-laku. terus temen saya ngasih tau lagunya gita gutawa yang baru: parasit, yang juga saya cari di youtube gara-gara penasaran. kesan saya sekilas: ini kok lagu indo jadi makin ancur gini yah...

saya nggak pernah jadi pendengar lagu indo yang baik, lebih prefer lagu barat dan mandarin. dari dulu memang agak males dengerin lagu indo entah kenapa. cuma akhir-akhir ini aja kalo pulang indo di mobil ade saya nyetelnya gen fm, dimana kebanyakan masang lagu indonya, saya kalo lagi nyetir sendirian juga yah pasanganya gen fm, dengerin lagu ular berbisa sampe eneq saking seringnya diputer. baru deh jadi mulai tau lagu-lagu indo, sayangnya saya malah dengerin lagu indo pas jaman gak gitu bagus kali yah.

saya mikirnya, gimana coba bangsa mo maju, kalo lagu aja kayak gitu. duh. apalagi yang banyak didenger orang. okelah emang lagu barat dan mandarin juga kadang nggak ada isinya, cinta-cintaan semua, cuma pasti ada yang ngmong hal laen kayak orang tua, family, persahabatan, gitu-gitu. lagu indo saya percaya juga pasti ada. tapi yang banyak didengerin orang malah lagu kayak lupa-lupa ingatnya si kuburan. malah jadi nggak mendidik. oh ada juga lagunya olga syahputra yang cuma ada 2 kata : hancur hatiku. sepanjang lagu kayak gitu, mending suaranya enak.

sekarang itu era kebebasan media. anak kecil pun udah hafal lagu-lagu orang dewasa. banyak anak kecil nyanyi jablay. nah kalo kayak gitu bukannya udah merusak dari kecil. apalagi kalo ngeliat penampilan si penyanyi, contohnya kuburan yang mukanya putih-putih. masih lebih mending tuh anak nyanyi lagu cinta daripada ikut-ikutin penyanyi yang rada-rada.

semuanya balik ke taste sih. nggak bermaksud offense yang demen sama kuburan, wali, ato halo band. hanya menyatakan pendapat saya. bingung aja ngeliat sekarang bermunculan yang aneh-aneh

indo. 5 hari lagi

2009-05-30T09:40:00.003+07:00

saya sedang menghitung hari sampe ke indo. rasanya pengen cepet2 pulang duhhh

oh sekaligus pulang indo nanti ada 1 misi: bikin rumah kesewa

jadi jadi jadi saudara-saudara sekalian kalo tau ada yang mau sewa rumah, saya punya rumah untuk disewakan
di kemang timur dalam, masuk dari restoran amigos. di jalan kecil jadi nggak bakal berisik, luas tanah 700an, garasi bisa buat parkir 3 mobil, ada kolam renang, bangunan 2 tingkat, halaman luas. foto belom ada hahaha terakhir ambil foto pas rumahnya belom jadi, masih setengah gituuuu.

harga bisa dinego, tapi prefer pay in us dollar. begitulah. terimakasihhh haahahaha

abis selama ini sudah setaon lebih sepertinya pengiklanannya kurang. ayo2 untuk membiayai kuliah saya *halah, nggak juga sih*

twenty

2009-05-28T12:29:00.002+07:00

ini hari pertama saya umur 20 tahun? rasanya? kayaknya biasa aja, sama aja kayak hari-hari lainnya. the difference is now im 20. kalo orang nanya umur berapa harus jawab 20. kesannya kalo udah 20 udah tua, udah nggak teenager lagi gitu, dan udah kepala 2. harus udah lebih dewasa juga, tuntutan pun rsany makin lebih banyak

anyway, thanks for those who gave me a little surprise last night, though i already got a clue frm odd things that i observed. hahaha. but still it was a surprise. then for those who sent greetings via call, sms, or facebook, and msn too! thank youu <3 hehehe

dan rencananya karena udah 20, saya mau bikin resolusi 20 tahun.
1. lebih deket lagi sama Yang di atas. want to know Him more.
2. menjalin hubungan yang lebih baik dengan keluarga. bukannya sekrang gak baik, tapi in the sense that it can be better and stronger each day
3. mengurangi kejudesan dan 'ck' kalo kata temen sih 'ck' itu udah jadi trademark saya. tapi saya akan berusaha mengurangi, and of course lebih sering tersenyum.
4. bisa lebih menjadi social person. and know the right time to be an antisocial. intinya saya bisa membagi waktu dimana harus bisa membaur, dan dimana saya perlu menyendiri, bukannya antisosial, tapi memberi waktu buat saya sendiri, buat menyenangkan diri sendiri
5. study hard and study smart. semoga bisa belajar demi belajar, dan memaintain nilai tanpa mengurangi bermain (loh). menyeimbangkan mungkin kata yang lebih tepat
6. mencari pengalaman sebanyak-banyaknya saat masih bisa.
7. be a better friend. yang siap membantu dengan tulus, bisa jadi blessing juga buat temen-temen yang lain
8. beli iphone! *gak penting*

almost 20

2009-05-26T10:16:00.002+07:00

tinggal menghitung jam sampe ulang taun saya yang ke 20. sekarang udah mau kepala 2, i promised to myself that i will try to be better each day. dan semoga saya bisa menjadi blessing buat orang-orang di sekitar saya.

umur 20 belom tua kok, yang penting jiwanya masih muda xD

sem 2 result

2009-05-24T12:42:00.002+07:00

mungkin agak telat 2 hari yah buat ngepos soal result, tapi moodnya baru ada sekarang

jadi 22 may kemaren result year 2 sem 2 udah keluar. tadinya berniat buka rada belakangan aja, tapi tetep sebelom bobo, abis biasanya kan orang berlombalomba buka sehingga si student link pun lama dibukanya. tapi gara2 udah ada 2 orang temen sejurusan yang udah ngebuka, yah daripada saya bingung-bingung gak jelas yah udah deh coba buka, sekitar setengah satu pagi gitu. untungnya lancar.

saya rada wanti-wanti pas mo buka, tanggal 21 soalnya baru dapet pengumuman hall. hasilnya: gelandangan soon to be buat semester depan, semoga ngegelandangnya nggak lama-lama. tapi somehow saya nggak terlalu panik gak dapet kamar. barang udah sebagian besar diungsiin ke tempat relative di angmokio, yang mungkin gelombang kedua ini menyusul. tempat squatting udah dapet. dan ini udah pengalaman kedua kayak gini, jadinya yah mungkin lebih tenang aja.

back to topic. result? ehm rada deg-degan aja sih bukanya. apalagi karena belom keluar di degree audit, harus buka examination result page. reaksi pertama buka: bengong. saya nggak tau mo bilang apa. langsung telpon temen baek saya di indo, salah dia sendiri dipanggil di msn gak nyaot.

i couldnt ask for more. cuma bisa bersyukur sama Yang di atas, ini result terbagus di ntu. dan itu, saya nggak bisa minta lebih lagi. puas? banget. sempet shock dan gak bisa berkata apa-apa karena emang nggak ada expectation kayak gitu. tapi kalo udah dikasih yah, kenapa gak? yang penting saya tau kalo saya nggak boleh sombong dan perjalanan undergrad masih panjang, masih banyak naek turunnya, dan harus tetep bisa berusaha.

ehm tapi sebenernya saya juga gak bisa seneng sampe gimana, karena gak semua temen saya dapet baguslah. harus bisa toleransi, dan in some way help them too. semangat buat semuanya. there are still so many chances.

ps: i want to use this as a reason to get a new phone! of course for birthday too. hahaha. i want iphone so bad. but bb is ok too.

looklet.

2009-05-21T23:05:00.002+07:00

ok peeps, this is my current addiction: LOOKLET
hahaha so this website allows you to mix and match and create a look. this is soooo fun. why? intinya saya suka fashion design, pernah bercita-cita jadi desainer. dan website ini bisa menyalurkan hobi saya. walopun rada sedikit kaku, karena bajunya terbatas, dan gak bisa saya bikin orangnya pake semau hati saya misalnya: jaketnya daripada dipake pengen saya buat diiket di pinggang, tp tidak memungkinkan karena pilihannya cuma dipake dengan kancing terbuka ato tertutup.

sampe saat ini saya udah bikin 19 looks. and keep counting. bisa mengalahkan facebook!

oke saya menulis pos ini menjelang detik-detik degree audit keluar. wish me luck!

show your love with acts. not just words.

2009-05-15T20:24:00.002+07:00

banyak yang ngritik saya gara-gara saya kalo sama adek saya gak pernah berkata-kata dengan baik. oh well, mungkin mereka gak tau juga kalo saya sama temen baek saya pun nggak pernah pake kata-kata indah. yang ada juga saling mengejek.

tapi apakah dengan begitu berarti saya gak care sama mereka?

let's think this way, emangnya kalo saya nggak pake kata-kata bagus, berarti saya gak care? siapa yang tau apa yang ada di dalam hati dan pikiran saya? gimana kalo saya emang udah terbiasa kayak gini? dan gak ada yang mempermasalahkan. urusan saya sama adek saya yah di antara kami aja. yang penting kami sama-sama tau kalo kami sodara. begitu juga sama temen saya. oke gak semua, tapi cuma temen baek saya aja. mana pernah dia muji saya secara blak-blakan, yang ada dia juga ngata-ngatain saya, malah berkomplot sama adek saya buat ngebully. tapi saya tau kalo dia sahabat saya. dan saya gak perlu kata-kata buat ngebuktiin itu. saya bisa ngeliat dari perbuatan dia.

sekarang mana yang lebih penting? kata-kata manis? ato perbuatan? tentu aja perbuatan!

ada temen yang pernah blg ke saya, 'kok lo gak pernah muji gue sih? gak pernah bilang gue cantik?'. sori, saya bukan orang yang gampang memuji kecuali kalo dia bener-bener pantes dipuji. daripada bilang cantik terus ternyata di kemudian hari harus sakit hati. saya nggak mengumbar pujian. jadi maaf kalo omongan saya terkadang terlalu pedas (mungkin bener juga si biefef bilang saya merica), but i believe it is for their goodness sake.

jadi saya lebih suka gimana menyalurkan kasih sayang lewat perbuatan. cara kita ngecare. menolong. etc. dibanding kata-kata manis yang terkadang hanya kata-kata doang tanpa isi, dan tanpa perasaan tulus.

all things come to an end

2009-05-12T10:22:00.002+07:00

semua yang ada di dunia ini nggak abadi. kalau ada awal pasti ada akhir. ini mencakup semua hal, kecuali mungkin, cinta kita buat Yang di atas.

kemaren temen saya ngomongin soal komite. pertemanan pas jadi komite itu pasti ada expiry date, entah 1 taon, 2 taon, ato 3 taon. makanya mungkin dia rada skeptical soal komite2an. tapi kalo mau dianalogikan seperti itu, pertemenan biasa juga bisa berakhir jg, ada expiry date. pernikahan juga bisa berakhir gara-gara perceraian atau salah satunya meninggal. kita sekolah juga pasti berakhir. semuanya pasti akan berakhir suatu saat.

tapi kenapa harus memikirkan sebuah akhir waktu kita mau memulai sesuatu? bukan akhir itu juga yang kita tuju kan? kenapa nggak mikir apa yang bisa kita dapet selama perjalanan waktu? selama kita menjalani sebuah relationship, sebuah pekerjaan, bahkan dalam kepemilikan barang. itu yang penting, karena dari situ kita bisa belajar, dan dapet banyak masukan, dan juga berkembang mentally.

kalo mikirnya semua akan berakhir tanpa mikir apa yang bisa kita dapet, mana bisa kita memperoleh pengalaman baru?

liburan = dorama

2009-05-09T14:32:00.003+07:00

secara saya sebenarnya sudah terhitung dalam masa liburan, walaupun setiap harinya masih bolak balik lab demi research (tapi tentu saja saya gak bakal ke lab on the weekends), maka saya kembali nonton dorama. apa itu dorama? dorama = japanese drama. dari sma saya biasanya nonton dorama di akhir minggu. satu minggu satu judul kalo lagi ada pinjeman. sekarang? nonton online is the best, secara saya gak bisa buka share-sharean di ntu.

jadi sejak kemaren saya nonton CODE BLUE. dorama soal dokter di emergency gitu. jadi yah melibatkan operasi, ct scan, darah, dan scapel, tapi ada dramanya jg sih, gmana persaingannya dsb. dan seperti biasa, banyak juga yang bisa diambil, pelajaran2 hidup. dan saya lagi seru nonton ini! recommended. ato memang karena saya suka dorama macem-macem dokter-dokteran, intinya yang seru, jangan cinta-cintaan doang...

sebelomnya saya juga nonton GALILEO. yang mecahin kasus pake physics. hahaha bukan karena saya nerd ato apa loh, tapi emang itu seru!

random

2009-05-08T11:25:00.001+07:00

You are Conscientious and Open

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.

You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.

A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.

You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.

Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.

Most things in your life are organized and planned well.

But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have low agreeableness.

Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.

In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.

And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.

You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.

Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.

Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.

You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.

But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.

You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

i simply want to go home

2009-05-05T00:46:00.002+07:00

barusan (mean pagi ini), ketemu supervisor. unexpectedly, dia kayak expect saya buat stay lamaan. 'i thought you will stay until end of june' jeger. karena sebelomnya saya udah bilang saya cuma bisa sampe akhir mei, entah apa yang membuat dia berpikir saya bakal stay sampe juni. itu bener2 nggak banget.

buat yang kenal saya, yah taulah saya emang suka pulang indo. suka menghabiskan waktu di rumah rather than here. makanya saya pulang rada lamaan ii udah bagus banget loh. hahaha. jadi yah saya rencana pulang sebelom ulang taon saya bulan ini. mau ulang taon bareng keluarga. mungkin rada aneh, egois, manja, kekanak2an, ato apapun terserah orang mo bilang apa. tapi saya bisa pulnag, ada kesempatan yah kenapa gak. kalo taon lalu kan ada special sem, jaman-jamannya project marketing ang gak mungkin bisa ditinggal.

tapi sekarang saya lagi dilemma. saya ini orangnya nggak enakan, dan sekrang saya nggak enak sama supervisor saya. dia baek sih, bilangnya terserah saya, tapi saya taulah, terseranya itu nggak bener-bener terserah. jadi saya jadi kepikiran apa pulang awal juni? tapi saya gak rela, takutnya gak berharga ngobanin waktu pulang saya buat ureca. yang notabene udah saya su. tp kepiiran ke depannya juga sih. gimana kalo harus kerja bareng ni sup lagi, kalo saya skrg aneh2 kan nanti jadi gak enak. tapi apa saya cuma berpikiran terlalu jauh dan terlalu beribet?

initnya saya pengen pulang secepetnya sih. pengen nikmatin rumah. saya bingung, sama orang-orang yang baru beberapa hari di rmah aja udah ngeluh bosenlah, minta tolong saking bosennya. kapan lagih sih bisa ngumpul bareng keluarga? apalagi kebanyakan wktu dihabisin di singapur. kapan lagi bisa nyantai-nyantai di rumah, lepas dari aura-aura buruk ntu. hahaha.

meet my darling!

2009-05-02T11:38:00.003+07:00

hahaha laptop kesayangan saya. yang sudah menemani selama 2 taonan ini. tapi belom pernah dikenalkan.

sebenernya ini laptop dapet dari bokap. gara-gara dia juga udah gak pake, dan laptop gue yang dulu udah dudul abis! jadilah sya dikasih laptop. saya bener-bener sayang sama ini laptop, dan belom berniat ganti, walo dia udah ampir 3 taonan. tapi klo ada yang ngasih sih gak nolak.

walo kadang-kadang nyusahin, gara-gara banyak program gak compatible lah, buka microsoft office aja lama lah, gak bisa webcaman di msn, msn gak bs aneh2, tapi tetep saya cinta <3 hahaha. maaf yah akhir-akhir ini saya masukin terlalu banyak foto *euphoria dapet kamera baru*, dan kebanyakan dipake buat maen restoran city yang ujung-ujungnya bikin si harddisk panas!

post exam euphoria. and homesick T.T

2009-05-02T11:16:00.002+07:00

i finished my exam last tuesday. the ending for this semester was quite good, though the opening was not. this sem was ok. just ok. i felt that i didn't put much effort, compared to last sem. just wait for degree audit!

these last few days were like post-exam euphoria. went for outings, to bugis last tuesday, and yesterday i went to mount faber for the first time. and i also watched dorama (japanese drama), sigh how i miss watching those doramas back in high school. and of course: PACKING! no, i won't go home this soon, it's just i have to move to another room for this holiday. sigh and i just realized that i have so MANY stuffs. i found things that i never felt like having before. i put some of my stuffs in my relative's house.

talking about packing. it made me wanna go home... usually exam means that i will go home soon. but then i cannot go home since i got this ureca thing. and some of my friends left already. i was thinking about going home on the weekend, but then i will waste my money... so yah here i am. enjoying my weekend in my soon-to-be-left room, chatting and do other stuffs before i start working on monday.

lagi mello saja

2009-04-27T00:01:00.001+07:00

ada yang gak percaya blog saya kayak gini? aduh
karena post terakhir? ato beberapa pos terakhir?
hahaha initnya saya lagi mello
jadi kalo ada yang merasakan bukan saya banget, mohon dimaklumi
maklum lah lagi exam periodddd.... bikin banyak berpikir

be grateful

2009-04-25T23:59:00.002+07:00

betapa pentingnya buat mensyukuri segala hal yang kita punya
bahkan untuk mensyukuri bahwa kita masih bisa bernapas detik ini
masih ada orang lain yang tersenyum pada kita
yap, itu berkat
karena tanpa kita sadar kita sudah terlalu banyak mengeluh
exam susah? bersyukur kita masih bisa belajar, apalagi di sekolah yang bagus
bosen makanan kantin? bersyukur kita masih bisa makan, sementara di luar sana banyak yang kelaparan
bosen liburan terlalu panjang? bersyukur masih bisa libur, berkumpul sama kelurga

pengen ac karena kepanasan? well masih ada kipas angin kok... dan masih ada tempat yang lebih panas lagi
dalam setiap hal yang kita keluhkan pasti sebenarnya kita bisa menemukan hal-hal yang patut kita syukuri. karena hidup kita itu sebenarnya indah. tergantung bagaimana kita ngeliatnya aja. dan tergantung bagaimana kita menghargai hal-hal di sekitar kita.

well. try to be grateful for every single thing in your life.

i miss

2009-04-24T17:10:00.002+07:00

saya kangen masa masa itu
ketika ide datang dengan mudah
dan juga mudah dituangkan
saat menulis bukan sesuatu yang sulit
walau memang hanya asal menulis
saat menggambar adalah pekerjaan sehari hari
walau dulu gambar saya tidak proporsional
walau dulu saya masih amatiran
bukan berarti saya sekarang juga berkembang
karena sumur ide itu sudah kering
akibat penguapan di sana dan disini
terpakai untuk belajar ini belajar itu
mengerjakan tugas ini dan tugas itu
sejak saya juga lebih suka menghabiskan waktu di depan komputer
saya rindu masa-masa itu
saat mereka masih bisa menikmati cerita yang saya buat
walau terkadang konyol
ataupun terlalu romantis
saat gambar saya masih ada yang bisa melihat
walau katanya kakinya terlalu panjang
saya hanya rindu....
rindu pada sang kreativitas.

mo pulang

2009-04-21T22:31:00.001+07:00

how i wished i could go home after exam....
but i believe, this must be for a greater good.

thanks!

2009-04-20T22:15:00.002+07:00

this post is related to my previous post about forgiving. so after i wrote that post, i tried to talk to some friends, asking for advice. it was like i know what they will say. but then i got some good advices, and even i felt like being slapped.

the first is my coursemate. i didnt directly tell him what i feel, but then he heard this frm my other coursemate. i didnt mind let him know this anyway. coincidentally, he wrote things about this in facebook note just the day before, about ppl talking about you behind your back, criticism, and those stuffs, which were pretty much related. yang bikin gue merasa bersalah itu yah, mungkin karena memperlakukan dia scr gak baik padahal dia mungkin juga gak tau apa salah dia, nggak tau kalo yang dia omongin itu irritating banget. padahal gue udah janji, apalagi setelah prapaskah kemaren, mo coba damai, buang semua kebencian-kebencian gak penting ke orang. haha but suddenly it came again. not only yest, but also 2 weeks or 3 weeks ago. thx pen for 'slapping' my face with your words. hahaha. pertamanya gue ngerasa gak enak loh...

then i talked to one of my friend who also knows about this prob, ehm i mean about me-not-liking-particular-person. hahaha. and my friend made me realize that maybe its already in his character. and it's hard to change. what i can do is just accepting. and oh, i think this kind of thing is for everybody i meet in my life. for all of my friend, cos all of us have different character rite. thx bro!

makasih juga buat tere yang udah berusaha nebak-nebak hahaha.

my roommate will leave on thursday!

2009-04-19T22:26:00.002+07:00

okay i will have a single deluxe room for a week i think. well my current roommate is an exchange student frm USA, but she is vietnamese. she doesnt look like a vietnamese at all, maybe american culture has influenced her too much. first time i saw her i thought she was a singaporean. hahaha.

since last sem ive been having exchange student as roomate. first one is frm aussie, but then she is indonesian! so lucky, can speak indo with her. and she spent most of her time during exam period sleeping next door. so i was unofficially single deluxe. but my current roommate is very different frm the previous one. she is not as open as my previous roomate. and we dont talk that much, maybe because she is busy with her laptop, chat here and there, and then she has boyfriend also. hahaha.

well in 5 days she will leave, to Bali first before going back to US. haha. and me? i wont be really affected by her leaving. it is me. some of my friends even said that i dont really care who is my roommate. in fact i care. i dont want to have a weird one. or dirty one. actually my exchange roomates never be that clean. i am the one who always clean the room. but then, i think they think they just stay here temporary, so whats the use of cleaning these stuffs?

oke. just want to say bye bye to my roommate. until we meet again, maybe, somewhere sometimes. hahaha.

is forgiving this difficult?

2009-04-19T00:42:00.002+07:00

kenapa susah banget buat saya buat memaafkan beberapa orang yang mungkin secara gak sadar bikin salah sama saya? tapi tetep saya ngerasa mereka nyebelin. kenapa susah banget buat melupakan semuanya? kenapa susah banget buat menerima orang-orang tersebut just the way they are? saya ingin memaafkan, dan melupakan. tapi di saat niat dateng, pasti ada aja yang bikin saya nggak suka.

kenapa Tuhan bisa dengan gampang memaafkan saya buat kesalahan-kesalahan saya yang mungkin jauh lebih besar? Gimana rasanya kalo Tuhan mau maafin kita pake perhitungan dulu?

saya pengen mncoba memaafkan. dan melupakan. dan dengan hati terbuka nggak membenci orang-orang. tapi kenapa susah?

insomnia

2009-04-18T20:01:00.002+07:00

saya insomnia 3 malem berturut2. dan parahnya ini lagi exam period. dimana saya mengharapkan tidur cukup, istirahat cukup, biar bisa belajar dengan cukup (dan pengen dapet lebih xD).

hari pertama: hari selasa, abis exam accounting yang hasilnya tidak terbayangkan, ada satu nomer yang ganjel, gak ada kepastiannya. mulai malem itu saya gak bisa tidur. padahal abis exam saya leha-leha, maen sana sini. kalo orang-orang tau, pasti komennya saya nggak bisa tidur gara-gara accounting. tapi beneran saya udah melupakan! biasanya saya udah tipe yang biarkan berlalu, apalagi udah marah2 sama orang, udah lega. sekitar jam 6 pagi saya baru bisa tidur, terus jam 9 udah kebangun. dan harus belajar biomechanics. huhuh

hari kedua: yang ini saya rada stress, soalnya hari kamisnya tuh ada exam biomechanics, walo examnya tuh siang. saya tetep gak bisa tidur. padahal si biomechanics gak mengganjel. oke oke aja. saya stress. cari orang buat disms. akhirnya jam 3 pagi saya minum susu. baru bisa tidur sekitar jam 4 lebih kalo gak salah. dan terbangun dengan sukses jam 9. kayknya sih badan saya udah ngeset sendiri jam bangun saya, gak bisa bangun lebih siang dari itu. untungnya nggak capek pas exam....

hari ketiga: abis exam biomechanics, saya cuma maen maen, dan nonton. bener bener gak ada niat belajar, melepas lelah lah. eh malemnyasaya gak bisa tidur lagi -_-" jadinya capek udah terakumulasi. 3 hari gak bisa tidur. minum susu lagi deh..

saya sampe sekarang nggak ngerti. kenapa saya nggak bisa tidur. udah segala usaha dilakukan. baca novel sampe novel saya abis. rosario sekali yang malah bikn saya seger gara-gara pengen nyelesein. sampe maen game siapa tau bisa ngantuk. hasilnya? 3 hari berturut2 insomnia. saya takut banget. saya takut capek, jadi sakit, apalagi ini exam period.

untungnya kemaren saya bisa sukses tidur. walo hari ini masih sedikit ngantuk. akumulasi dari nggak tidur yang kemaren-kemaren.

btw hari ini panas banget banget banget. bikin males belajar.

i know myself

2009-04-14T21:57:00.002+07:00

sometimes i think im stupid
cos i often refer back to the past
when things dont go the way i want it
when difficulties come.

past times seemed better than now
i got the comfort of home
i got the companion, my family, my friends
and also those academic stuffs
i could score well though i only studied night before
it was not as hard as now
i could even get perfect scores on my test
and the pressure was not this big
i just miss the past times
my bestfriend was just a phone call away
that i could call in sad times
i miss my home too
and the air of my hometown
oh how i hope it is due to my period

i know i can pass through this all
facing all the hard times
i know all those things in the past made me become spoilt
and i have to move on
this is me
i know my capability
and i will do it all in my way
without comparing to other people
cos i know the best...
and what i do is my best

p.s.: exam period + my period has affected my hormone and they has induced my mellow side. but really, exam period always makes me wanna go home. but it still more than 1 month to home. pray for me and my exam... hahaha

exam is coming!

2009-04-13T23:18:00.003+07:00

though it's late i wanna say HAPPY EASTER! semoga Paskah membawa damai di hati.
Paskah taon ini cukup berkesan buat saya. masih jauh dari rumah, jauh dari orang tua, jauh dari hiruk pikuk jakarta yang emang ngangenin. tapi saya bersyukur banget bisa paskahan bareng temen-temen disini. dan taon ini, surprisingly, unexpectedly, saya join choir! berawal dari ajakan seorang teman, yang katanya minta bantuan anak2 ntu buat choir easter vigil. entah kenapa saya terdorong aja. pengen. jadilah saya ikut! hahaha and the choir is so amazing, esp the ppl, semuanya baik2 kok, dan mostly indonesian.

paskah kemaren juga ada baptisan. ada 2 junior saya yang di baptis. jadi keinget taon lalu temen saya, irene, juga dibaptis. dan ngeliat orang dibaptis itu, rasanya keren banget. masalahnya saya craddle catholic, baptized since baby, jadi saya nggak ngelewatin masa-masa RCIA, belajar ini itu, memantapkan hati buat milih jadi seorang katolik. sampe tahap di mana mereka yakin mo dibaptis. dan sepertinya mereka udah tau lebih banyak dari saya, gara-gara hasil belajar selama RCIA. welcome to the family! haha

and after the joy of easter, here the exams coming. hari ini saya mulai exam (sekarang udah jam 0026 pagi. exam pertama buat semester ini. accounting. duh. sem ini saya ada 5 exam, mulai 14 selesai 28. 2 minggu yang penuh perjuangan. saya sih ngerasanya exam kali ini lebih santai, baru kerasa kalo ii exam period tuh kemaren, pas saya mencoba menyelesaikan target belajar accounting. yah, doakan saja supaya saya bisa sukses exam kali ini.

lapar di tengah malam

2009-04-07T00:58:00.003+07:00

bukan tengah malem lagi sih ini, udah jam 2 pagi.

sebenernya saya lagi berusaha menyelesaikan assignment matlab, yang due hari rabu besok, tapi karena banyak kerjaan yang menanti, dan saya pengen nyicil buat exam juga (yes, nyicil! soalnya sem ini kayaknya belom sempet nyicil2). well, jadi saya ngejer, dan malem ini lagi dapet pencerahan! setelah merenung 1 jam lebih, buka matlab, ngutak ngatik, sambil maen restaurant city, dan sempet mo nyerah, akhirnya saya dapet PENCERAHAN. hahaha abis mikirin soal nelder mead, konsepnya, dan segala macamnya. dan ternyata jalan!!! walo sempet curiga itu gak berhasil. itu ada 2 problem, untungnya yang problem terakhir, itu method yang saya pake buat analysis research selama ini (saya curiga kenapa sih lecturer ngasih soal itu. well, lecturernya supervisor saya)

jadilah sekarang, setelah semuanya selesai, tinggal ngeberesin satu dua hal. pdf file juga udah jadi. hahaha tinggal dikirim2.

oh karena tadi sambil mikirin si matlab, saya nyambi buka blog... blog tentang makanan pula, saya jadi laper. beneran laper. capek malem-malem terus kena angin kipas terus laper. apalagi liat ini
duh saya jadi pengen makan di saung grenvil, makan mantao pake kepiting saos padang. duhhhh >< enakkkk. mantaonya yang baru digoreng gitu, terus celup2 ke saosnya si kepiting. duhhh.

yak dan saya masih 2 bulan lagi pulang rumah. jadilah harus menahan hasrat ini....

my birthday wish(es)

2009-04-05T22:57:00.002+07:00

i feel like time if flying this semester. this new year. damn. it is april again. april means exam, and my last month as second year student. and 1 month to my birthday.

talking bout my birthday. it will be my 20th birthday. well, im gonna leaving my teenage soon, very soon, cos like i said, time flies dear. and again, talking bout birthday, i have some birthday wishes. hahaha. currently im craving for new mobile phone. i want either iphone or blackberry. i prefer iphone, but then the price is very expensive. and i dont want to use plan. i dont really into blackberry since too many ppl using it. TOO MANY. though the price is not cheap. hua. tapi terima aja kok kalo ada yang ngasih either 2 itu. hahaah

and im currently playing this new game on facebook: RESTAURANT CITY. blame the developer for releasing the game near exam period.

2009-04-04T22:54:00.002+07:00

exam is coming! udah tinggal 1 minggu sebelom exam. dan saya masih maen maen. semester ini berjalan begitu cepat. terlalu cepat. hanya bisa berdoa buat exam, dan belajar tentunya

sick? or homesick?

2009-03-30T21:43:00.002+07:00

saya lagi nggak enak badan, udah 3 hari sejak sabtu. dan sekarang kayaknya belom bisa dibilang membaik juga. saya nggak tau kenapa saya bisa nggak enak badan gini, curiganya sih gara-gara keujanan jumat kemaren, dan baru balik kamar + mandi jam 12an gitu. mungkinkah?

kalo tidur idung mampet, badan nggak bisa kena angin, rasanya ketusuk tusuk gitu. padahal di kamar saya yah cuma ada kipas angin, tanpa kipas angin kenapanasan dongs, mana ada rumet juga, yang nggak mungkin dibiarkan kepanasan karena biasanya aja dia seneng set si kipas angin di angka 5! jadi yah serba salah. sekarang aja saya ngepost sambil pake jaket. di bawah kipas angin. yeah hebat juga. saya udha minum obat loh, take cold n flu panadol. kemaren sih rencananya gak mo minum, tapi pas tidur idung mampet + kebangun + sakit2 banget, jadilah jem 3 pagi minum itu panadol. kalo kena ac aja lngsung meler-meler. tadi tepar pas kelas biomechanics. dan beberapa hari ini saya ngerasa nggak melakukn banyak hal berguna. padahal banyak waktu belajar. yah tapi kondisi saya lagi nggak memungkinkan buat belajar, otak rasanya gak bisa nerima, bdan gak mendukung.

padahal saya minum vitamin c setiap hari. nggak pernah skip makanan. kalo bisa mandi di bawah jam 8. tidur maksimal jam 2. ngepel tiap minggu (ada hubungannya kah), makan buah sering-sering. terus kenapa saya bisa sakit????

ato jangan-jangan saya sakit gara-gara kangen rumah? homesick? secara saya baru akan pulang rumah 2 bulan lagi.

some thoughts.

2009-03-27T23:23:00.002+07:00

i went to legion meeting today, and surprisingly i got many things that worth thinking of.

kadang-kadang secara gak sadar, kita manusia tuh terlalu sombong. kita ngerasa kalo kita bisa menyelesaikan semua masalah kita, with our own power. kita mau 'take control' of all things in our life. dan hasilnya? kita lupa kalo kita harus berserah sama Tuhan. bukan berarti berserah then duduk anteng-anteng dan tidak menyelesaikan masalah ato nggak berusaha. tapi berserah in the way that lo tau kalo Tuhan pasti buka jalan, dan dengan itu lo bisa sedikit lebih tenang, sadar kalo lo nggak sendirian, dan hal-hal yang nggak terkontrol sama lo dan membuat lo pusing itu bisa dijalanin dengan hati yang lebih tenang.

hal laen, kita, dan saya sendiri, ngerasa terlalu sering banyak komplain. soal ini itu yang di luar our expectations dan menuntut kita buat bekerja lebih keras lagi. ato ketika ada tantangan-tantangan yang menghadang, kita sering mengeluh, kok kayaknya capek ini itu, masalah dateng terus, dan sebagainya. kita lupa ngebandingin semua complaint kita sama apa yang dialamin Dia. nyerahin diri? disalib demi kita? kayaknya hal yang kita alami nggak ada apa-apanya...

ya jadi segitulah yang pengen saya share. sedang berusaha buat nggak terlalu banyak ngeluh ato komplen. apalagi di masa prapaskah, harus belajar. hehehe. mkanya saya akhir-akhir ini rada sensi sama orang yang suka ngeluh. makanan jadi dingin ngeluh? masih banyak orang disana yang nggak bisa makan! hehehe. sekian post buat hari ini. maap kalo saya lama nggak ngepost. banyak banget yang harus dikerjain. dan sepertinya saya mulai sakit...

kenapa saya benci lab

2009-03-12T23:31:00.002+07:00

saya lagi depresi ngerjain log sheet. ko daritadi rasanya gak ada yang bener, padahal waktu kerja udah bener. dan sekarang saya pusing. gak enak juga kalo ternyata hasil yang saya record salah. gak enak sama temen-temen yang laen. huhuh apalagi saya yang ngirim data ke mereka. udah bilang sih kalo i thought there was something wrong with the result. huhuhuh.

intinya saya gak suka lab karena log shitnya, dan formal reportnya. berharap bisa melakukan lab tanpa perlu submit apapun, sama kayak saya suka kerjain ureca tanpa harus submit report -__-

oh iyah saya lagi pengen handphone baru. handphone saya kameranya udah gk beres, dan setiap 6 bulan sekali harus di upgrade biar bisa jalan. repot repot. berharap punya iphone. walo banyak orang bilang jelek. tapi sya demen apple. hahaha. kalo gak iphone,s ebenernya kepikiran buat beli blackberry, tapi di indo banyak baget yng pake, dan gak suka aja cara pakenya. hahaha. tapi pengen pun TAK PUNYA UANG. jadi masih di angan-angan. hahaha

lagi

2009-03-08T17:27:00.002+07:00

ada apa dengan ntu akhir-akhir ini? mungkin semua anak ntu, esp anak-anak indo pernah berpikir kayak gt dalam jangka waktu seminggu ini, mungkin lebih tepatnya sejak kemaren. sejak ada peristiwa yang makan korban jiwa lagi. saya gak maen-maen. ini beneran. coba aja cari di detik, wah heboh banget itu beritanya, ato diheboh-hebohin.

kurang dari seminggu udah ada 2 yang meninggal. dan sayangnya sepertinya 2 kasus ini bisa dihubung-hubungkan, terlalu banyak penghubungnya. same supervisor, walo yang satu staff dan satu murid. same lab, yah begitulah. banyak banget spekulasi lagi. ada yang bahkan bilang, yang bunuh diri kemaren sabtu, si mr z ini, liat hantu david yang meninggal senen kemaren, makanya dia di rumahnya bikin persembahan tiap hari, sepertinya dia masih either buddha ato kong hu chu. ada yang bilang dia ini mungkin saksi mata, terus disuruh diem, dan stress. dan masih banyak banget spekulasinya. yang bener yang mana? ato beneran ini ada hubungannya? saya sendiri gak tau, yang paling tau cuma Yang di atas.

saya gak kenal sama 2 korban itu. cuma mau gak mau ada dampaknya ke saya. saya gak bisa boong kalo saya gak takut. intinya: saya cukup takut. rasanya perlu pulang indo dan take a break. udah ckup 2 kejadian bikin geger. apalagi yang sabtu kemaren tempatnya deket tempat saya. biasa dilewatin kalo bonyok lagi nginep di nec. yang senen sama-sama orang indo. saya terlalu banyak berpikir, soal apa jadinya nasib saya nanti.

bahkan saya sempet kepikiran buat pindah sekolah. iyah, pindah sekolah as in withdrawing from ntu. tapi itu ide gila, walo bokap udah bilang ok. tapi bakal repot. dan toh smua yang terjadi ini belom merugikan saya, dan gak ada sangkut pautnya sama saya. yah jadi untuk sementara saya bakal coba, jalanin, kalo bisa sampe lulus. semoga nggak ada lagi kejadian-kejadian kayak gini. dan smoga kebenarannya cepet ketemu.

if it were what they think...

2009-03-06T21:27:00.002+07:00

saya kurang suka kalo orang dengan cepat menyimpulkan kayak apa saya ini
saya kurang suka kalo orang membicarakan saya soal sikap saya yang begini dan begitu
padahal mereka sendiri tidak tahu bagaimana sebenarnya saya
kadang mereka hanya melihat yang ada di luar
sedangkan mereka tidak tahu kalo saya ini pakai topeng
yang bisa saya lepas pasang sesuka saya
tapi apa yang bisa saya cegah untuk membuat mereka tidak berpikir macam-macam?
saya nggak punya kuasa untuk melakukan hal itu
membuka diri saya sepenuhnya?
saya rasa belum saatnya...
jadilah sekarang saya hanya bisa bertahan dengan segala konsekuensi. toh ini perbuatan saya sendiri.
dan sambil bertahan, mungkin saya bisa menjadi lebih baik.

may you rest in peace

2009-03-04T00:25:00.002+07:00

kayaknya udah banyak yang tau soal kejadian di ntu, 2 maret 2009. kejadian yang bener-bener menghebohkan. kalo belom tau, bisa dicari beritanya di channel news asia, cari aja soal ntu, bertanggal segitu. website laen kayak yahoo singapur, msn, detik, straits time dan yang laen-laen juga memuat berita ini. sorry for not providing the link, saya lagi gak mau buka beritanya. setelah cukup tadi pas lecture saya udah cukup menghabiskan batere handphone temen saya si tere yang canggih bisa wireless itu buat bukain berita, liat-liat photo. buat yang punya sakit jantung jangan dibuka fotonya. saya menyesal saya udah buka fotonya, hmmm kekepoan saya kadang-kadang berdampak buruk buat diri saya sendiri juga.

jadi saya juga pengen menyampaikan belasungkawa sedalam-dalamnya, walaupun saya gak kenal sama yang bersangkutan, tapi ktia tetep sesama orang indo di ntu. semoga keluarganya dikuatkan, apalagi dengan adanya berita-berita yang heboh banget itu. saya nggak habis pikir, beritanya kok bisa dilebih-;ebihkan, bahkan ada yang katanya gak bener sama sekali, soal beasiswa itu.

hmm hmm, yang dipikirkan sekarang juga, ada gak yah efeknya ke anak-anak indo yang masih di ntu? dan yang masih mau sekoalh disini? yah, we can only hope for the best. apapun itu. mungkin ini juga bisa jadi pelajaran buat kita semua. supaya apapun masalah kita, seberapapun beratnya, kita musti inget kalo kita masih punya Dia.

p.s: semoga supervisor URECA saya nggak takut sama saya abis kejadian ini. hehehe. tapi tenang aja supervisor saya sangat teramat baik kok!

cheesecake!

2009-02-28T23:31:00.002+07:00

this is one thing that i LOVE the most in jakarta! i mean indo's food. though this thing can be found in singapore, i donno why i like this one so much. at least i need to eat it once when i come back to Jakarta during holiday.

the harvest blueberry cheesecake! there is also strawberry cheesecake, but i love the blueberry one! of course i only bought the sliced one, not the whole cake, too much for me.

dear friends

2009-02-28T22:51:00.003+07:00

i may not be good at expressing my feelings.
really
but i just want to tell you
how deep is my gratitude
to have u all

as a place to share my worries

and of course my happiness

to share those stupid stories

and those laughters

and gossips too!

thank God there is technology

with phone and msn

and of course facebook!

though face to face is even better

but some of you are just far away

and some i even havent met for years

thanks for those sweet memories

and the bad ones

i couldn't ask for more

though sometimes i might be disappointing

and become too introvert (yap some ppl said so)

but you know that i love you all...

random things

2009-02-25T23:27:00.003+07:00

ok, since this 25 random things about me is kinda booming in facebook, i tried to make one. hahah, in indon, to make it easy

1. perempuan, 19 taon dan takut bertambah tua, oh well mungkin karena taon ini udah 20, kepala 2, oh no!

2. sempet kehilangan, kecopetan dompet maksudnya, karena tergiur oleh sale. namanya juga ce, masuk ke tempat sale, eh kecolongan

3. rada nggak suka sama tangga. berusaha menghindari tangga kalo lagi di daerah kampus, karena kalo mo ke kamar, apalagi dari kantin ke kamar, harus naek tangga! tangganya banyak bgt lagi!!!!

4. prefer chinese food daripada western, yah namanya orang cina, mau gimanapun pasti cinta sama budaya leluhur lah yah, walopun western is ok for me.

5. suka gambar sejak sd, kelas 5 sd coba-coba gambar baju di kertas kalender bekas. inget kalender yang sobekan itu? yang perhari? yeah gue dulu gambar disitu, dengan gambar yang masih culun banget. masih terus menggambar sampe sekarang, smp pernah kepikiran jadi fashion designer, tapi entah kenapa sma berubah, walo ikut ekskul fashion design. dan masih berharap suatu saat bisa menjadikan fashion design sebagai kerjaan sampingan.

6. jarang nonton doraemon waktu kecil, jarang banget banget. akibat jam tayang doraemon = jam berangkat gereja.

7. pernah ditilang polisi 2 kali! 2 KALI! dan 22nya gak lapor ke bokap. hahaha mungkin euphoria baru bisa bawa mobil sendiri, masih tolol jalan raya.

8. sejak bawa mobil sendiri lebih suka ke mol kalo lagi sepi, maksudnya gak lagi sabtu minggu gt, ato perginya agak pagian, biar parkirannya masih kosong, terus biar parkirnya gampang, masih lenggang, kalo gak yah kayak kejadian sabtu kemaren, bikin banyak mobil nunggu.. hahaha

9. belom pernah naek busway! bahkan sekarang di depan hero tomang yang deket banget sama rumah udah ada halte busway. tapi kayaknya si busway gak akan tersentuh sama gue deh. maap busway!

10. sampe sekrang masih ada obsesi ketemu wilber pan. walopun udah gak sedemen dulu. at least pernah ada rasa. duh padahal waktu itu nyaris bgt bgt.

11. orang melankolis, walo mungkin melankolisnya gak signifikan banget2. tapi adalah waktu-waktu dimana gue sangat melo!

12. suka menulis. walo sejak masuk sma practically gak pernah nulis lagi. pernah sih cuma nulis iseng2 yang buat lucu-lucuan aja. jadi kangen masa mading.

13. saya makan dengan cepat. ya kalo dibandingin sama ce2 sih saya makan dengan cepat. jadi kebanyakan kalo lagi makan gue bakal jadi orang yang nunggu daripada ditunggu.

14. gak bisa ngewarnain pake pensil warna. makanya gambar-gambar lebih enak ditinggalkan hitam putih saja.

15. dulu suka banget sama duncannya blue, cakep cakep cakep, sebelom ada wilber, yah mungkin karena naturally gue bakal lebih milih yang asian daripada bule.

16. sempet pengen jadi pilot, rasanya keren bisa nyetir pesawat, tapi apa daya mata begini, gak mampu, terus karena gagal jadi pilot, pengen masuk aerospace, bikin pesawat, ehhhhhh ketrimanya bioengine (yah iyahlah daftar aja pilihan eprtama bio), jadi ya udah deh, pengen juga kok masuk bioengine, bikin alat medical, nyelametin nyawa orang.

17. suka cheesecake. daripada kue chocolate lebih enak cheesecake deh, demen banget sama cheesecakenya harvest!

18. suka kamar yang rapi. sedang berusaha menjaga kerapian kamar, dan tentunya ngepel seminggu sekali, sesuai tekad! tapi yah kalo lagi exam bisa diubah jadi dua minggu sekali mungkin

19. kadang terlalu pelit buat beli sesuatu, haha jadinya gak jadi beli deh. hal ini berlaku untuk hal-hal seperti sendal, baju, dan brang2 yang masih gak cukup penting. dan gue emang lagi pengen nabung buat beli hape baru.

20. gak pernah maen game macem2, punya ps aja cuma ps1, abis kayaknya adek gue jg ce semua, gak into game, dan lebih into computer. hahaha

21. gak pernah makan mie instant selama di ntu, karena males masak. alesan laen sih pengen hidup sehat. haha

22. gak suka kipas anginnnnn

23. punay satu anjign ayng harusnya minipom. tapi sekarang diajauh dari mini...

24. suka bereksprimen dengan masakan dan bikin aneh-aneh yang ujungnya dimakan sendiri

25. sudah 25!

kenapa gue sering pulang indo?

2009-02-13T22:46:00.002+07:00

kemaren di perjalanan pulang dari bugis ada temen yang tanya sama saya. well sebenernya bukan mereka doang yang pernah nanya, kayaknya banyak banget yang pernah nanya ke saya: KOK LO SERING BANGET SIH PULANG INDO?. biasanya kalo yang ginian saya cuma bisa jawab: hehehe. alias ketawa, alias tidak menjawab, abis bingung, yah bisa pulang terus yah pulang, kalo soal sering yah emang sering. tapi kalo ditanya begitu kok saya ngerasa kayak pertanyaan retoris yah.

terus kalo yang kemaren pertanyaannya ada extensionnya: EMANG APA ENAKNYA SIH PULANG INDO? terus ditambah komen YAH PULANG INDO SENENG SIHSENENG, TAPI BEBERAPA HARI UDAH BOSEN, EMANG LO NGAPAIN AJA DI INDO? KETEMU TEMEN? nah gara-gara pertanyaan macam begini saya sempet berpikir. kenapa yah saya sering pulang indo?

buat yang contact sama gue selama di indo (i mean those ntu peeps lah, bukan temen2 di indo), mungkin belom pernah denger saya bilang bosen di jakarta. there's always a lot of things to do, menikmati hidup tentunya. mo liburan 3 bulanan pun hayo aja sini gue jalanin, tapi nggak deh, kalo di jakarta makannya kurang terkontrol. dan setelah saya pikir-pikir, maybe it;s just my nature that i love my home, i love my hometown, i love spending time with my fam + friends. and i just like to be at home. namanya juga anak rumahan. kayaknya di rumah bisa ada aja yang saya kerjain. 1 months in not enough, kadang2 masi ada ajakan sini dan situ, belom sempet jalan-jalan kemanakemana.

ato kenapa lagi yah? saya juga sempet ditanya, emang kalo pulang indo bareng temen2 gitu? yah kan mereka melihat saya bukan tipe family-girl banget. jadi maen sama siapa dong pas pulang? apa pulang buat ketemu temen-temen? oh tentu tidak sih jawaban saya, saya juga kalo pulang ketemu temen-temen cuma beberapa kali, kalo pulangnya sebentar yah cuma sehari dua hari ketemunya. misalnya pas pulang recess contohnya. dan emang ngga semuanya available kan pas saya pulang, cuma emang kebanyakan sih saya bakal jalan sama temen pas saya pulang.

terus tiket jakarta singapore juga masih okelah, dan belom dilarang orangtua buat pulang, bahkan kalo bisa pulang yah pulang. hmmm, mgkn saya yang paling sering pulang yah di antara temen-temen saya. tapi yasudahlah, nikmatin aja selama masih bisa pulang.saya butuh break dari segala kehectic-an ntu, kalo disini tuh suasananya mendorong buat belajar, dan saya udah capek. lagian males juga liburan di kamar sendirian nonton2. mending pulang kan? i enjoyed my time with my old friends, tapi bukan berarti nggak sama anak2 disini, cuma beda caselah. yang saya bisa cerita apapun, cerita masalah-masalah disini. call me introvert tapi saya sadar saya belom bisa terlalu terbuka sama anak-anak ntu.

tapi memutuskan untuk pulang itu banyak pertimbangannya loh. jangan dipikir gampang. hahahaha.

new layout

2009-02-07T23:47:00.002+07:00

hey i'm updating the layout today. haha it just happened that i suddenly wanted to open blogskins. tried to find some nice layout and found this one. it has been so long since i changed the layout for blog, both current and my last blogs. still need to fix here and there. but quite satisfied with this one.

a saturday

2009-01-31T13:18:00.002+07:00

sorry i didnt post for quite a long time. school has been hectic lately. semester 4 is very disastrous. i mean it. i got homework every week, and it must be submitted. yeah homework, usually we just have tutorial question and come for the tutorial. now we have to submit it. and i haven't done with my ureca poster which deadline will be this coming wednesday. and i just came back from indonesia for chinese new year, which made me slacking for a while back in indonesia, no mood to do anything except having fun and enjoying my time.

so here i am, in saturday afternoon, wondering about things, thinking about my existence. yeah right, my existence. i may sound a bit too melancholic, lately i have been too melancholic with all things that happen to me. since last week, i felt that i didn't have any motivations for studying. i clearly realized that i must study so i can graduate on time, get a job, be successful, etc etc. i thought about what i have achieved until now. i have great academic life. top 10 in elementary school, first rank for final exam in junior high, and became first rank in my senior high science batch though only for 1 sem lol. also now i carry that 'dean's list' title. (fyi: dean's list are those top 5% in their batch). but a question came to my mind, what can i do with all that stuff? will it be a benefit for me? is it a guaranty? i doubt it.

i am in the midst of my laziness. skipped class even in the first day of school, ran away from my ureca supervisor because i didnt do anything on holiday and was so lazy to make a progress. and i also skipped 1 day after chinese new year holiday. i dont feel as diligent as before. i drew on lectures instead of listening to the prof. i designed clothes when the prof was teaching. i dont have that spirit that i have before. is it wrong? one side of me once asking about that achievement that i already get. how if i lose it? will it be bad? what should i say to my parents? my pride won't allow such thing to happen. but the other side of me doesn't care anymore about all this thing. sometimes even thinking about going back to indo lol, when everything is easier and more comfortable.

but i can't go back. what i can do is do the best in here. this is the consequence (and i'm referring back to the first 'so-called-speech' that my high school's math teacher gave my class on our first day in class after orientation). yeah so just let it flow, and find other things to do to make my uni life better.

so long 2008

2009-01-09T21:31:00.002+07:00

well it's 2009 already!!! merry christmas happy new year semuanya... maaf karena lama nggak update.

taon baru kali ini saya lewatkan di alam mimpi aja, nothing special, yah namanya taon baru sama kayak hari-hari laen buat saya. hanya bikin tambah ngerasa betapa cepat waktu berputar, nggak ngasih saya kesempatan buat bernapas sedikit saja menikmati liburan saya. dan juga berarti saya harus kembali lagi ke negeri tetangga dan mulai kuliah. untungnya hari-hari terakhir di taon 2008 bener-bener menyenangkan, sayagnya cepet banget

so im gonna write about my holiday. mungkin ada yang berpikir liburan saya biasa-biasa aja. yah emang biasa-biasa aja, tapi kesenangannya luar biasa. saya menghabiskan satu bulan full di indo. awal-awal liburan emang masih pusing sama ureca, report yang harus disubmit, untungnya aja itu kelarnya cepet, jadi abis itu saya bisa jalan-jalan. trus awal-awal liburan juga temen saya pada belom libur, belom kelar uas. untungnya ada temen-temen dr luar negeri yang udah pada libur, dan walopun nggak jalan keluar sama temen, saya seneng-seneng aja kok di rumah, jadinya saya bertanya-tanya kok udah pada bilang bosen di jakarta. kayaknya banyak yang bisa dikerjain di rumah. kalo gak yah jalan-jalan cari makanan.

liburan makin kerasa pas udah tengah ke akhir. rencana ini itu, jalan sama si ini dan si itu. dan tentunya liburan bareng keluarga. saya pergi ke bandung sama keluarga 3 hari, dan bandung macet damn, jadinya yah nggak dpet banyak. selaen itu yah from mall to mall aja. ketemu temen yang udah lama nggak ketemu, ngobrolin masa lalu yang kayaknya lucu dan indah dan belom ada beban banyak. ketemu temen smp yang udah bertaon-taon nggak ketemu. ngelepasin kepenatan dari omongan soal fluid, biomaterial, dan whatever yang biasanya sehari-hari dibicarain di ntu. dan saya juga spent time sama temen baek saya buat ngomongin hal-hal yang belom sempet diceritakan. oh those days were great. saya nggakmau liburan cepet berakhir, tapi mau nggak mau saya harus balik, kuliah, mencapai cita-cita.

oh iyah liburan sempet diganggu dikit sama exam result. waktu result keluar saya masih di bandung. jadi gak buka itu cepet-cepet. toh mo dibuka kapan pun tuh result nggak bakal berubah ato lari kemana-mana. jadi rada sorean baru buka. siap menghadapi apapun yang ada di browser saya. hasilnya? lumayan kok. walopun ada beberapa yang di luar expectation. dan fluid saya pass walo cuma A- haha. ya udahlah. overall masih belom menjatuhkan cgpa.

saya pengen balik indo. hmm menghitung hari sampe sinchia deh

sindrom vampir

2008-12-10T21:12:00.002+07:00

hmm belakangan ini lagi ada yang namanya sindrom vampir. bukan, bukan ada vampir nyerang manusia, ato penyakit yang bikin jadi vampir, tapi lagi ada film soal cinta antara manusia sama vampir. saya sendiri belom sempet nonton. tapi saya udah baca novelnya, dari seri pertama sampe seri ketiga dan sedang mencari seri keempat. iyah, film ini diangkat dari novel gitu. dengan judul yang sama.

baca novelnya sih oke oke aja, walopun, menurut saya, it is a kind of love that never really exist. bukan diliat dari sudut pandang karena itu vampir-manusia, tapi karena emang cinta antara mereka itu too good to be true. tapi menurut saya baca ginian yah perlu kok, sebagai selingan dan hiburan. apalagi karena emang jalan cerita dan bahasanya gampang, kemaren ini saya satu buku selesai dlam waktu 3 hari.

waktu juni kemaren beli buku ini, nggak nyangka kalo sekarang bisa booming kayak gini. waktu itu beli karena ngaak tau apalagi yang mau dibeli, eh tapi ternyata lumayan juga, jadilah ngikutin terus. mungkin gara-gara ada filmnya kali yah. film yang bikin orang tergila-gila, yang dulunya nggak baca jadi baca bukunya gara-gara nonton dan tertrik sama si vampir. coba aja liat contact msn saya, ada beberapa yang personal messagenya ngomongin si vampir, bukti implisit kalo mereka tergila-gila sama si vampir. alamak.

walo banyak yang suka, ada juga pastinya yang bilang kalo si vampir ini terlalu berlebihan. abis yah, gambaran si pengarang soal si vampir-vampir ini tuh perfect banget. ganteng, cantik, tajir, anggun, flawless. hmmm tapi siapa sih yang nggak suka sama yang kayak gitu? dan pasti yang demen sama film ini pasti cewek-cewek. terpikat oleh kegantengan ckckck, padahal menurut saya aslinya gak cakep-cakep amat

kalo soal filmnya sih, saya belom berani komen, belom nonton gini. semoga nggak ngecewain. nggak kayak eragon dan film-film based on novel laennya

indo. and other things

2008-12-08T23:12:00.002+07:00

saya udah di indo untuk, ehm 5 hari mungkin. huhuhu tapi sayangnya saya belom merasa bebas. masih ada report due to 15th of december, dan saya belom dapet ganti sim yang ilang dicopet bersama dompet, jadilah saya terkurung di rumah, harus nunggu supir kosong baru bisa pergi-pergi. dan saya belom nonton twilight!!!

saya harusnya ngerjain report. ato melakukan sesuatu sama project saya, yang statusnya masih belom 100 persen. tapi saya malah ngepo fesbuk. bergosip sama biefef, dan lainnya. tadi saya udah coba kok. 2 jam saya ngutak-ngatik matlab, tapi belom berhasil. ngerjain report pun nggak minat sampe akrhirnya saya menarik kesimpulan mending saya maen-maen dulu, besok baru kerjain. oh ini semua juga karena adanya ECLIPSE. yang bikin saya baca seharian, dalam sehari udah mencapai halaman 350 sekian, dan masih mungkin akan saya lanjutkan malem nanti sebelom tidur. salah sendiri adek saya udah beli eclipse. dan salah si pengarang kenapa bikin saya ketagihan baca bukunya.

huaaa 15 desember cepatlah datang...